Watch it, South Sound squid-jiggers: Your next bleary cast might snag a Navy SEAL.
We caught the whiff this week from some shadowy pro-transparency group that published a list of local sites where the Navy wants to conduct local SEAL training. Apparently, the high currents and cold water pose super-special challenges suitable for military water aerobics.
The thing is, some of the proposed training sites are chock-full of civilians — like Point Defiance Park and the Gig Harbor Marina. Nobody’s granted permission yet, and all the usual analysis, protests and complaints are still ahead, followed by the usual (we figure) pro forma approval.
Picture sleek-suited divers hitting the marina dock at midnight, pumped up with a Michael Bay action-movie score, all ready to close down the Tides Tavern. An operation like this deserves a worthy name. Just this once, we’ll forgo our usual branding fee:
▪ Point Defiance Offensive
▪ Narrows Night Ops
▪ Stomp the Yacht
▪ Puget Power (hey, nobody’s using it)
▪ Rhubarb Resolve (bonus insider jargon!)
▪ Scare the Whales
▪ Enduring Sockeye
▪ Zero Park Thirty
A short announcement: Reporter Melissa Santos, our veteran political cliche collector, recently published her annual list of overused phrases deployed by the solons of Olympia, who never give up their quest to bore us to death while looking busy.
As this year’s session began, state Sen. Mark Schoesler (R-The Shire) poured out his personal fave — “the glass is half full” — even after we scolded him for it, which just shows the mighty impact of our MSM power.
“I’m going to remain the person who says the glass is half full,” Schoesler said this week.
Yeah, we get it. The guy wants to sound optimistic. And face it, nobody wants to say “half-empty,” which is a little too close to “half-pint,” which wouldn’t be appropriate for a man of Schoesler’s stature.
Vape clip: First those busybodies at the Tacoma-Pierce County Board of Health came for the smokers. Then they came for the cigar bars. Now they’re after the vapers.
The pesky regulators voted to ban the wafting of gummi-bear e-juice (plus all the other flavors) in public places. Hardly a surprise that a pro-vaping nonprofit stepped in with a lawsuit. The Pink Lung Brigade says the new regs are out of line.
We wish we’d been around for the name-the-nonprofit party. Our vote would have backed the Looking Cool by Emerging from Personal Fogbanks Brigade.
Roach clip: We’re never sure who runs the great and powerful Roach political dynasty. Is it State Senator Pam or Pierce County Councilman Dan? Either way, if their 2016 campaign dreams come true, Senator Pam turns into Councilwoman Pam, answering to Executive Dan – or maybe thwarting his every move while hunting rose bouquet thieves.
Until then, we can offer some experienced advice to Councilman Dan about sniffing conspiracies.
Seems that Councilman Dan was caught off-guard last month when his upcoming opponent for Exec, state Sen. Bruce Dammeier (R-Krusty Pup), filed a bill to rein in rogue county prosecutors (as in Zen Master Mark Lindquist). Suddenly, Senator Bruce gained some cred for independence, leaving Councilman Dan to claim he wasn’t on anybody’s side as long as he could keep bashing current Exec Pat McCarthy.
Councilman Dan reportedly suspected a plot hatched by McCarthy, in cahoots with Dammeier, which would mean a term-limited Democrat conspiring with an invading Republican to ... to ... well, we lost track after that.
Anyway, we checked the deets on Dammeier’s nefarious bill, SB 6159, and noticed one of the co-sponsors: none other than Senator Pam. Just goes to show the truth of that old newsie saw about double-checking to see whether Mom still loves you.
Snorts and hairs: We’re still shivering after last Sunday’s Seahawks game against the dreaded Vikings, especially the cartoon face-plant by punter Jon Ryan, who broke his beak on the Minnesota tundra.
Shudder. That’s the worst possible injury, as far as we’re concerned. Have to hope the NFL takes some steps to curb such horrors in the future.