Five ways to fill the void in your life left by the January exits of the Seattle Seahawks and President Barack Obama.
1 Go to Bob’s Java Jive karaoke night and sing out your pain. (“I Ain’t Missing You At All,” “The Way We Were.”)
2 Pull out old videotapes of Super Bowl XLVIII and Inaugural Address MMIX. (That’s 2009, for non-Romans.)
3 Start printing “Russell Wilson for President, 2028” yard signs.
4 Religiously follow contract negotiations, NFL draft and Joe Biden’s off-season workouts.
5 Curl up in fetal position and block out all thoughts of the New England Patriots and Donald Trump.