Opinion

The Five Spot: 5 more things to blame on eclipse

Songstress Bonnie Tyler gives the Five Spot salute while performing her 1980s hit “Total Eclipse of the Heart” aboard the Royal Caribbean's Oasis of the Seas ship during last Monday’s eclipse. Photo by
Songstress Bonnie Tyler gives the Five Spot salute while performing her 1980s hit “Total Eclipse of the Heart” aboard the Royal Caribbean's Oasis of the Seas ship during last Monday’s eclipse. Photo by Invision for Royal Caribbean Int

Five things we can try to blame on last week’s solar eclipse, in addition to the great Puget Sound fish farm escape.

1 Another injured Mariners pitcher goes to the disabled list; another injured Seahawk leaves big hole on offensive line.

2 Strange animal behaviors, such as a nude man breaking into Lakewood homes and trying on women’s lingerie.

3 Unfortunate resurgence of Bonnie Tyler’s 1983 power ballad “Total Eclipse of the Heart” on radio stations, cruise ships and karaoke playlists.

4 “Honestly, officer, I never would’ve driven on the freeway shoulder through Tacoma if I hadn’t been staring at the sun without eclipse glasses!”

5 President Trump’s claim before a prime-time audience that he knows the way to win the war in Afghanistan.

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