Opinion

The Five Spot: 5 other Amazon demands in its quest for HQ2

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos flashes his five-fingered hand of power. Surely he won’t be limited to only five conditions as cities line up in a bidding war for the company’s planned second headquarters outside Seattle.
Amazon founder Jeff Bezos flashes his five-fingered hand of power. Surely he won’t be limited to only five conditions as cities line up in a bidding war for the company’s planned second headquarters outside Seattle. Washington Post file photo, 2016

Five conditions Amazon executives might require of cities hoping to host a corporate headquarters outside Seattle.

1 Must cancel all government vendors and contracts, promise to purchase all goods in your city on Amazon Prime.

2 Must be willing to rename your city “Amazonia” and your county “Bezostopia.” Also, your municipal charter must be amended so that Alexa can be appointed mayor.

3 Every grocery store taken over by Whole Foods, every book replaced with a Kindle.

4 Must have another city tied to your apron strings roughly 30 miles away that we can exploit for affordable labor, cheap housing and excellent karaoke bars.

5 Must not be Chicago. That would be such a cliche. So boring. So Boeing.

And a bonus Sixth Spot, free of charge!:

6 Must have adequate landing strip capacity and no air-space restrictions for our Luftwaffe-size fleet of delivery drones.

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