Five things that drove President Trump to close Russia’s consulate in Seattle and worry our region is a hotbed of spies.
1 Cloak-and-dagger operations are too easy around here due to prevalence of raincoats and damp, dark alleys.
3 In the interest of national security, extra safeguards are necessary for Boeing, Bangor submarine base and Bimbo’s secret spaghetti sauce recipe.
4 Our intelligence sources (i.e., Google) indicate that Boris and Natasha are in Tacoma, have planned a Sept. 30 wedding and are registered at Bed Bath & Beyond.
5 Forget the U.S. election hack. Putin will really bring us to our knees if he infiltrates Amazon headquarters and disrupts our inalienable right to online shopping and free shipping.