Opinion

Forget the Iowa State Fair! Five things we might see if Dems did The Puyallup

In this week’s Five Spot column – Five moments we might get to enjoy if 2020 Democratic candidates were to campaign at the Washington State Fair.



1. Mayor Pete Buttigieg, waving a turkey leg like a conductor outside the BBQ Pete’s booth, leads crowd in “Do the Puyallup” singalong.

2. Gov. Jay Inslee, in a speech at the livestock barn, unveils his plan to cork cow methane emissions. Then treats his State Patrol security detail to Earthquake burgers - on the taxpayer dime, natch.

3. Joe Biden, a bit confused as usual, yells “Hello, Scranton!” to the crowd. Then asks his aide how many tickets he needs to ride the Hickenlooper.

4. All the candidates, holding a joint press conference at the Green Gate, say they support free fair admission for undocumented immigrants. They call their plan “the Green Gate New Deal.”

5. Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders, sharing a ride on the Extreme Scream, elbow each other for the seat on the far left.

And a bonus Sixth Spot, available online only!

6. Spiritualist Marianne Williamson, joined by Yelm channeler JZ Knight on the Showplex stage, announces she’s been endorsed by 35,000-year-old warrior spirit, Ramtha.

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