Key figure in Trump impeachment owns a Tacoma hotel. Imagine the marketing possibilities

Five suggested marketing testimonials for Tacoma’s Hotel Murano, as read by Gordon Sondland, hotel company founder and President Trump’s ambassador to the European Union.

1. Our food and drink offerings are the highest quality. Beyond compare. Dare I say, unimpeachable?

2. Are you worn down by life’s everyday stresses? Exhausted from being deposed by congressional investigators? Our spa is a great way to refresh your body, soul – and memory!

3. Check out our “Quid Pro Quo” suite! Generous deals and celebrity treatment await. All you have to do is sign a few forms at the concierge desk, and you’ll be feeling Quid Pro Cozy!

4. Stay with us one night, and you’ll go home feeling like a million bucks ... which, coincidentally, is the price I paid for this ambassador gig and entanglement in a major White House scandal.

5. The Murano warmly welcomes everyone – pets, Ukrainians, members of the Biden family. Everyone, that is, except Rudy Giuliani.