Food and giggles bring marriage

I sometimes hear women talking about why they love their men. Or sometimes they haven’t landed one yet. Sometimes they are talking about what kind of man they would like to capture with the help of friends, relatives and professional dating services.

When asked what they would like in a mate, more often than not their answer surprises me. You would think a person would mention the substantial attractions of romance like good looks, wisdom, gentleness or somebody rich who can afford mansions, unlimited face lifts and huge, pricey tattoos – major needs like that.

I hear these single women in television interviews and dating service commercials hoping for a guy with “a good sense of humor.” Period. No wealth or extravagant hopes for a tall, dark dude – just a sense of humor.

You would think they would consider humor a small side issue in a civilized pairing of partners. There are several explanations. In the first place, routine daily humor is something that tends to provide proof the guy isn’t one of those sour oddballs who blow their tops and watch endless basketball games.

True, a persistent display of humor – by women as well as men – is part of the way you can be counted on to help each other exist in a happy home. However, some aspects of a marriage are more hugely serious than constant jokes. You need to find a partner who pitches in on bringing home the bacon – and then helps you cook it.

There is a simple reason for lonely women or men to seek a dream partner with a sense of humor: It’s virtually mandatory. Mother Nature has built us – all of us – to joke and laugh our lungs out.

It’s not true that there are some people without a sense of humor. We don’t always have our jolly side turned on, but it’s there waiting for everybody to enjoy the need for the humor within us.

We are constructed to laugh as surely we are constructed to procreate – or to do both at the same time. We have been programmed – for our own good – to do as Ma Nature bids us to do, for our own welfare.

Our urges are numerous. One of the largest is food. There is more to our built-in appetites than the hunger that drives our ravenous daily cravings. It’s a trick by Mother Earth. The entire human population wouldn’t have lasted long enough to reproduce itself without a built-in appetite for food.

Eating is part of an instant beginning at birth that immediately energizes our breathing, guzzling water, keeping warm and (some would say) eventually hugging your honey as soon as you’re old enough.

But our hunger for food is not the only urge. I speak of all our intertwined desires. We answer almost all of those cravings, and not just for food. Similarly, a man and woman today may meet and both will feel the pull of the largest appetite of all – each other.

Mother Nature has given us the tranquilizer of humor and laughter, the salve that has kept most of us almost sane while hunting bear, gathering nuts and berries, almost freezing to death, fighting each other, finding enough to eat and, worst of all, dying young. Our inner tranquilizers have saved our bacon, chemically calmed us and armed us with soothing laughter.

Mother Nature has taught us that, with all earth’s suffering, you can only laugh or cry – and that laughter is the kinder course. Then one day some sweet woman or some gentle man will want to marry you, all draped in flowers and a sense of humor.

This story was originally published May 13, 2016 at 3:20 PM with the headline "Food and giggles bring marriage."