Five reasons the people who want to ban plastic bags should actually like plastic bags:
1 Reusable cloth tote bags make lousy hand mitts for picking up poop around the feral cat colony.
2 You can stuff hundreds of plastic bags into a larger plastic sack for extra airbag protection in your electric car.
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3 Plastic bags can be used as emergency parachutes if you ever get stuck during a tree-sitting protest.
4 The Great Pacific Garbage Patch could be colonized as an island utopia for Bernie Sanders and his followers.
5 Plastic bags could be used as makeshift disposable diapers after you convince the city to ban disposable diapers.