The five spot: 5 ways plastic bags could be useful for the haters

From the editorial board

Five reasons the people who want to ban plastic bags should actually like plastic bags:


1 Reusable cloth tote bags make lousy hand mitts for picking up poop around the feral cat colony.

2 You can stuff hundreds of plastic bags into a larger plastic sack for extra airbag protection in your electric car.


3 Plastic bags can be used as emergency parachutes if you ever get stuck during a tree-sitting protest.


4 The Great Pacific Garbage Patch could be colonized as an island utopia for Bernie Sanders and his followers.


5 Plastic bags could be used as makeshift disposable diapers after you convince the city to ban disposable diapers.