My husband died without me in a South Sound hospital. COVID-19 rules need fixing
The COVID-19 pandemic has affected almost every aspect of people’s lives. Nevertheless, I was unprepared for the hospital visit restrictions I encountered during my husband Bill’s recent bout with lymphoma.
After two months of self-imposed quarantine because he was having chemotherapy, Bill became seriously ill and on May 13 he was admitted to the intensive care unit of Providence St. Peter’s Hospital.
During his hospitalization, I was not allowed to be with him because of the hospital’s strict rule prohibiting all visitors because of virus risk.
Bill was required to lay flat on his back without moving for seven days to manage serious heart complications. When we called, the nurses were kind enough to hold the phone for him to speak. He said he felt like he was in a medical prison of solitary confinement.
This trauma became more devastating when he had to be on a ventilator for 16 days. He did not have COVID-19.
Despite his bravery during the ordeal, my husband died exactly one month after being admitted. His doctors and nurses provided excellent care, but the visitation restrictions were devastating to all involved, most especially for Bill and our family.
We were married 53 years and had been separated only once before, when he was in Navy JAG training for three months.
The quarantine rule and visit restrictions seemed extreme. When he died, I felt cheated of being together for the last month of our marriage.
Before the pandemic, family members were allowed, in fact encouraged, to be with loved ones while in the ICU. Medical literature is full of studies documenting the importance of family presence to provide comfort for patients and support to the medical team when requested. There is every reason to believe it helps in the healing process.
Despite the excellent medical care given to my husband, our separation had a traumatic effect on us. In fact, one of his physicians requested an exception to the policy for patients in the ICU. It wasn’t granted.
The rule remained in effect until two weeks after Bill’s death, when It was changed allowing one family member in the ICU. This is a welcome adjustment to a policy that appears skewed toward the legal protection of hospitals instead of the well-being of patients.
COVID-19 is not likely to disappear any time soon, but seriously ill, non-COVID-19 patients will still need treatment in ICUs
It is time for hospital administrators to better balance visitation policies designed to benefit seriously ill patients with precautions to prevent the spread of contagious disease to hospital staff or other patients.
I realize this is happening in some hospitals, but if you are in a situation like I was, it may not happen soon enough.
Maxine C. Williams was a clinical social worker with Group Health for 12 years and a psychotherapist in private practice for more than 20 years. She lives in Olympia.