How to protect 15-year-old, one-eyed Tacoma cat from coyotes? Turn him into a porcupine

I’m a sucker for all sorts of creatures — big ones, tiny ones, charismatic megafauna, smallish fur balls and even ones not universally appreciated, like crows and raccoons.

Sadly, some of my favorite creatures like to dine on some of the others.

One such situation involves my cat, Paka. As a feline meat eater (biologists refer to house cats as hyper carnivores), he certainly has no misgivings about dispatching the cutest of mice and would, if he could (happily he can’t), catch and devour a lovely bird.

However, karma dictates that he is below many others on the food chain.

One such “other” is the coyote.

I like coyotes. I also appreciate their family brethren, dogs and wolves. However, our Tacoma neighborhood was overrun by coyotes months ago. A huge one was prowling our backyard. Others were seen at all hours of the day and night, roaming our streets, yards and alleys.

Of course coyotes are everywhere. As one nature website stated, wherever you live, in the city or remote hinterlands, if you think you don’t have coyotes, you’re wrong.

Coyotes dine on cats and small dogs, among other edibles. I say: What about my poor cat? You say: Well, when coyotes are around, just keep your cat inside.

If you’re a bird lover, perhaps you say: Keep your #@%&! cat inside all the time, or it may die.

Confining some cats indoors takes no effort. However, other felines are like our Paka. He is a cat of the “I MUST patrol my neighborhood several times a day” variety.

We’re talking about a 15-year-old, arthritic, one-eyed cat, not some young Tom. However, he considers it absolutely necessary to get outside to keep the younger larger neighborhood cats in line, including one he harassed through its own glass front door.

He also must spend time outside to get his required dose of affectionate pets from neighbors and strangers.

A tentative coyote/feline status quo was in place in our neighborhood. Then more coyote sightings occurred. A large raccoon was killed, found half eaten, having tried unsuccessfully to escape under our back deck. Things were getting serious.

What to do? We’ve tried wolf urine pellets. (Need some? They’re available at Pee Mart. Seriously.) The stuff either works wonderfully (60% of reviews) or is utterly useless (“The coyotes rolled in it!”)

The next level of defense? That would be the Coyote Vest for , or else the cat-friendly version, aka Spike Vest. For a laugh, check out their website, even if you don’t have a pet.

Before I invested in this not inconsiderable purchase, I checked the company’s return policy, realizing our cat was, well, a cat. How might he respond to us putting a large, copiously spiked garment on him?

The Spike Vest recently arrived. Our first attempts at application were better than we expected as Paka kept it on for a good five minutes. The final verdict? It’s a work in progress.

Whether he eventually wears this around the neighborhood acting like his own little tank or we end up returning it, the pictures alone have been worth the expense.

If he doesn’t oblige, might anyone be interested in a lightly used, totally punk Spike Vest?

Bruce McDowell is a North End Tacoma resident and one of six featured News Tribune reader columnists in 2011. Email him at bmcdowell@harbornet.com