Far be it from me to disagree with gifted black movie stars who were unfairly ignored for plum films, thereby closing the door to Oscar competition again this year.
I’m on their side. When it comes to Hollywood and television stations, people like me have been treated something like that all my life. How many leading bald men have you ever seen who were nominated for Oscars?
Oscar nominations are potential golden statues of high achievement, but they are awarded to hairy heads far, far more than to shining ones.
I write this only slightly tongue in cheek because there certainly is a grain of truth in what I say and in what those black actors also say.
Part of this turmoil is based on how difficult it is for some black actors and some bald television station applicants to avoid discrimination. On the other hand, let’s face it; we bald fellows can’t help it that we were born sexier than those fancy gentlemen.
I have seen these struggles before. This isn’t my first rodeo. In fact, baldness isn’t my first bareback rodeo.
When I encounter depressed young men, who think going bald will ruin their lives, I give them a pep talk. Young men frequently go into a bald funk and then get over it. If your son or grandson worries over a silly little thing like hair, then tell him this:
Don’t cry over spilled hair.
I tell the brave lads they will find we have several advantages over hair-headed unfortunates. Millions of people (especially women) will see you, not as you imagine, but as a shiny leading man.
I have noticed the distress of some bare-headed young men, but we shouldn’t fret over what we can’t change, even when looking in the bathroom sink to see wads of fallen hair in the basin. Trying to regrow hair is like rejecting your original dark skin by bleaching it or like rejecting your original white skin by artificially tanning.
That’s what I tell the young worriers when cheering them up. I tell them that not only do numerous women get giddy at the sight of a bald head, but there is a scientific reason why so many women feel that way.
I recently read a bald entry in the Wikipedia, that website of all knowledge. The article on hair loss explains the condition known as “male pattern baldness.” The item explained that “The (natural) trigger for this type of baldness is… a more potent form of testosterone…” In other words, bald men have stronger whoopee hormones.
On the other hand, our world has other, sad, hairy-headed men who have never known anything but the struggle of maintaining the fur on their noggins while blowing a fortune on hair salons.
Apparently most of the bigwigs who do the hiring for movies and television stations are pitifully unfamiliar with the truth of bald testosterone. There should be a place in the world for one and all. Surely the great actors of all colors and hairiness should be welcomed before the cameras.
My wife tells me that some of the winners of Oscars, be they white or be they black, don’t actually have hair, but they do have a secret stash of toupees.
The good news is that many wonderfully diverse actors, including the black and the bald and other styles of human beings can recreate lives, ideas, action and music.
So shine on, you creative entertainers – all of you. You are a human bouquet of many colors. You liven our world with light and motion on a screen so powerful it can wipe away the worries of our lives.
Contact Bill Hall at firstname.lastname@example.org or at 1012 Prospect Ave., Lewiston, ID 83501.