1. Chicago Cubs (last week’s ranking, 1): Ticket stub from home doubleheader sweep at hands of Padres potentially worth a fortune at rare-item memorabilia auctions.
2. Chicago White Sox (3): With release of John Danks, South Side of Chicago appears to be landing spot for once-and-future starter Tim Lincecum.
3. Boston Red Sox (6): Sox went into weekend hitting .295 as a team, 17 points higher than next-best Pirates.
4. Seattle Mariners (5): GM Jerry Dipoto sees Double-A prospect Edwin Diaz, recently moved to bullpen, as a “high-impact major league reliever.”
5. New York Mets (4): Ageless Bartolo Colon looked every bit a 42-year-old against Dodgers last week.
6. Washington Nationals (2): During 20-K gem vs. Tigers, Max Scherzer threw 96 strikes and 23 balls.
7. Baltimore Orioles (7): O’s set franchise record last week by hitting back-to-back homers in three consecutive games.
8. Texas Rangers (12): Only in America: Infamous 2004 draft bust Matt Bush is out of prison and eager to showcase his 98 mph fastball.
9. Philadelphia Phillies (9): Promotion of first baseman Tommy Joseph, who was tearing up Triple-A, was a no-brainer call.
10. Miami Marlins (8): Signing of former M’s lefty Joe Beimel will provide overworked bullpen with some relief.
11. Pittsburgh Pirates (9): Return of third baseman Jung Ho Kang, recovered from knee surgery, gives Bucs a boost.
12. St. Louis Cardinals (13): Matt Holliday’s brief stint as DH in Anaheim revived his sleepy-hollow bat.
13. San Francisco Giants (14): Starting pitcher Johnny Cueto impersonating ace who won 20 games for the 2014 Reds.
14. Los Angeles Dodgers (18): Clayton Kershaw set one of those gotta-take-their-word-for-it MLB records last week: five straight starts with at least 10 strikeouts and no more than one walk.
15. Toronto Blue Jays (17): Pitcher Marcus Stroman anticipating a different kind of walk Sunday, when he’ll march to stage with fellow Duke University students at graduation ceremony.
16. Cleveland Indians (15): Switch-hitter Carlos Santana has found niche as Tribe leadoff man.
17. Tampa Bay Rays (19): After sweep of Angels, Rays wanted more from 3-3 West Coast trip that concluded in Seattle.
18. Kansas City Royals (11): Injuries taking toll on Royals in general, and rotation in particular.
19. Colorado Rockies (20): Starting pitching keeping Rockies competitive in mediocre NL West.
20. Arizona Diamondbacks (24): Three-time All-Star Paul Goldschmidt is in throes of the kind of curious slump that compels kids to pursue a less maddening sport than baseball.
21. San Diego Padres (23): The Fernando Rodney Experience a surprising success — he began weekend 10 for 10 in save opportunities.
22. New York Yankees (28): Homestand that ends Sunday has been encouraging, but Yanks face 17 of next 20 games on road.
23. Detroit Tigers (16): Between serving as foils for the Scherzer whiff-fest and blowing a 5-0 lead vs. Baltimore, Tigers have enjoyed better weeks.
24. Houston Astros (25): At 5 feet 5, Jose Altuve isn’t big enough to carry a team on his shoulders for an entire season.
25. Cincinnati Reds (26): Difficult to believe Zack Cozart is a .249 career hitter.
26. Oakland Athletics (22): Outfielder Josh Reddick on historic pummeling the A’s took in Boston: “It’s certainly embarrassing.”
27. Los Angeles Angels (20): When the highlight of your season is a cat running onto the field at Angel Stadium, it’s not much of a season.
28. Milwaukee Brewers (27): Despite Ryan Braun’s PED transgressions and the $76 million he’s guaranteed through 2021, the line of shoppers eager to acquire the outfielder is Black Friday long.
29. Minnesota Twins (29): Twins fans becoming experts on top prospects of 2017 draft.
30. Atlanta Braves (30): Braves began weekend with nine home runs — six off the bat of Freddie Freeman.