Navigating pandemic with kids is tough. Here’s how some South Sound parents are managing

For Joy Vandenberg, the middle of August can’t come soon enough.

Vandenberg, of Tacoma, is a mother of two who was planning to get back into the workforce after finishing a certificate at Tacoma Community College in 2019. With her plans upended due to the COVID-19 pandemic, Vandenberg has spent much more time during the past year with her daughters. Now, Vandenberg is happy for what this month has in store: her eldest daughter is turning 12, officially making her eligible for vaccination against COVID-19. It’s something her daughter is excited to finally do.

“We’re just waiting for the calendar to say that it’s time,” Vandenberg said.

Despite the extra layer of comfort Vandenberg and her family will be afforded, she and others still have concerns about the pandemic’s trajectory. Children under 12 remain vulnerable to infection without the vaccine, and the rise of the concerning Delta variant means spread can increase. Some public health experts say while children under 12 do not make up the bulk of the COVID-19 caseload, cases are still on the uptick.

Scott Lindquist, state epidemiologist for communicable diseases at the state Department of Health, said individuals ages up to age 19 account for 21% of the statewide caseload. That percent rises to 26 when looking at the Delta variant.

“As we’re going forward, we’re seeing in all age groups increases not only in cases, but hospitalizations, and that’s the main concern for us right now,” he said in an Aug. 4 interview with The News Tribune.

Anticipation from both public health officials and parents is mounting as the school year approaches. The summer remains a critical period for examining what could lead to another devastating wave of COVID-19 infection and have long-lasting impacts for the academic year ahead. For Vandenberg, this year could finally mean her eldest daughter can go back to school full-time and more fully adjust to middle school — but keeping up with precautions this summer is still a priority.

“I know that she missed out on a lot of her sixth grade year last year … the adjustments from elementary to middle school is rough,” Vandenberg said.

Being a parent during the pandemic

In April 2020, Michelle Bottorff and her family felt the impact of the pandemic right at home.

Bottorff’s husband got COVID-19 at his workplace, and the entire family subsequently tested positive for the virus.

“We all went down,” said Bottorff, who lives in Tacoma. “There was no quarantining anybody at that point.”

Now, Bottorf, her husband and her 12-year-old son have been vaccinated. Bottorf and her husband have two younger children who are still not old enough to be vaccinated, but she said having those who were eligible get the vaccine was a relief.

Bottorf is still cautious. She continues to keep masking requirements and crowds in mind when deciding where to go with her kids. She still avoids taking her children to public parks.

“If it was just a handful of people, I’d be OK because, you know, you’re outside so … everything dissipates really fast,” Bottorf said. “But when you have a ton of kids on a play structure, it becomes riskier.”

Similarly, Jessica Ohara, of Tacoma, said she and her two kids tend to favor outdoor activities like going to the zoo. Point Defiance Zoo & Aquarium encourages visitors who are unvaccinated to wear a mask, and Ohara said her children — who are both too young to be vaccinated — were able to enjoy their time there. Ohara is vaccinated.

Getting children to adjust to the pandemic hasn’t always been easy.

Juel Lugo, a mother of two, said that although she still has her children wear masks indoors, it doesn’t come without questions. She said her 7-year-old son has asked her why some people mask up while others do not. She tries to explain that, ultimately, wearing a mask is for his own protection.

Lugo and Ohara both agreed the pandemic and masking have been more seamless for their younger children. They each have a child between the ages of 3 and 4.

“I don’t think the younger one really has noticed any role,” Lugo said. “I think the only time they really noticed is when we were in full quarantine, and we weren’t seeing any family members.”

As the pandemic progresses and vaccines become more readily available, Vandenberg said Pierce County’s vaccination rate is of concern. Pierce County, the state’s second most populous county, trails behind neighboring King and Thurston counties in vaccination rates, according to state DOH data from Aug. 2.

“I know that there’s concerns out there, and I understand people want their freedom to choose,” Vandenberg said. “I’m not going to try to impinge upon their freedom, but I do not see a lot of people wearing masks lately, unless they have to.”

Rebuilding business models

For every parent adjusting to the pandemic and deciding their family’s level of safety, there’s a business also trying to accommodate for consumer needs.

Summer is the peak time for children to enroll in classes and camps. Those across Pierce County have adapted to put children’s safety — and parents’ peace of mind — at the forefront.

Outdoor public pools in Pierce County were previously reaching capacity, said Metro Parks Tacoma aquatics program and facilities supervisor Jan Bretana in a July 23 report. There have not been any safety concerns from parents, Bretana said in an email, and swim lessons are now taking place after the pools’ closure in 2020.

All swim instructors for the summer are vaccinated, Bretana said in an email. Classes are also capped at five students, and those students are spaced six feet away from all other classes and recreational swimmers.

Bretana said all swim classes are full with a waiting list. The only concern parents have about classes is more being offered.

“The staffing shortage has greatly affected our ability to deliver our swim lesson program to the numbers we traditionally have,” Bretana said in an email. “We are at less than half the class offerings we typically are able to provide in the Summer months.”

Point Defiance Zoo & Aquarium also paused its summer camps last year due to the pandemic. Now, Cathleen McConnell, guest engagement programs coordinator, is excited to be bringing back some campers.

“There’s just an energy,” McConnell said. “The kids love the zoo. Even though a lot of these kids have been here many times as members, they’re seeing new things, and they haven’t been here in a really long time, and they’re getting to do things they would normally not be (doing) with their families.”

The camps have received mostly positive feedback, too, with some reaching out to McConnell to say how grateful they are that their kids can attend again.

Summer camps have made numerical adjustments on all fronts this year. McConnell said the zoo’s staff is operating on a “skeleton crew” with a one-to-five ratio for staff and kids. Additionally, camps now take place all day. Point Defiance Zoo & Aquarium previously offered options for all-day camps, morning camps or afternoon camps. The change does limit the amount of campers across the board, but does help limit the “cross” between students and individuals they’re exposed to on a daily basis.

Groups themselves are also down in size. Camps for those 7 and older are in groups of 10 rather than 15, and camps for those ages 5 and 6 are capped at eight rather than the usual 12.

Parents drop off their campers using a drive-through system this year. Parents are not permitted to exit their vehicles, and the camper can only do so once their temperature has been taken and their parent has answered questions about COVID-19 symptoms and known exposures, McConnell said. Lunches are outside and socially distanced.

A rope with colored tape also helps campers adhere to social distancing guidelines. Despite the guidelines, McConnell said the campers have been enjoying themselves.

McConnell also said camp staff doesn’t really hear kids complaining about wearing masks, although it varies from child to child.

“Sometimes the masks don’t fit, which is a little frustrating. We try to remind parents, ‘Hey we really need a mask that’s gonna fit,’” she said. “Instructors are always touching the bridge of their nose reminding kids to … pull their masks up, but some of them just have perfectly fitting masks and it’s not an issue.”

Camps can be challenging, McConnell said, but it’s ultimately rewarding to bring them back. Her only wish is that there could be more campers this summer.

“The kids are just excited and they’re just enjoying themselves,” McConnell said. “I think we’re all exhausted but … I think everyone is having a good time.”

‘It’s not about you’

As summer reaches its apex, Lindquist said, the fifth wave of COVID-19 is also building — it’s even beginning to rival its predecessor.

“The prediction is increased cases, increased hospitalizations, a tightening of the availability of hospital beds and a plethora of vaccine out there for people that want to get vaccinated that are eligible,” Lindquist said.

Waves of disease are oftentimes driven by similar things, like bars and restaurants. Some of those frequenting establishments are 19-year-olds or in their 20s, a demographic that Lindquist said is driving the fifth wave.

With the wave building, Lindquist said this summer is a compromise: It won’t be mask free. Parents and families must make the best of it.

In the spirit of compromise, Lindquist suggests families don’t put their children at risk in crowded public spaces. Outdoor spaces should be preferable, and families should wear masks when indoors.

“Yeah, it’s a drag to have to wear a mask and worry about these things, but it’s much better than spending a couple days in a hospital because you’re so sick because you’ve got COVID,” Lindquist said.

Lori Karnes, environmental health specialist at the Tacoma-Pierce County Health Department, said one big advantage of the summer is not only the nicer weather, but the advantage to play independently with smaller groups of children.

It’s also an opportunity for families to start preparing kids for the health practices that will take place for the school year. Children and families alike can keep up with frequent hand washing and completing morning health checks.

“The summer is kind of giving them a chance to normalize that practice ... before they move into the school year, so I think that will help keep them safe now, help squelch some of the concerns that parents might have, as well as get them prepared for the school year coming,” Karnes said.

The end of the line for everyone is the vaccine, Karnes said. Pierce County has distributed 825,642 doses of the vaccine as of Aug. 2, according to DOH data, and has a vaccination rate of 48.4%. The most vaccinated age group is those 65 or older, with 70.2% being fully vaccinated.

Lindquist said it’s a simple fact that those who are unvaccinated or not fully vaccinated are the majority of COVID-19 cases. He also said since children cannot be vaccinated, those around them should get the shot to protect them.

“It’s not about you,” Lindquist said. “It’s about the people around you. So, it’s about your kids, it’s about your grandma, it’s about your co-workers, your neighbors, those that can’t get the vaccine due to their health conditions or their age that we need to be looking out for. This is a community approach, not an individual approach.”

Time to get creative

Between quarantine, lockdown and learning from home, parents have had parenting obstacles thrown their way for over a year. For Bottorff, it’s about making decisions that mitigate harm while not ruining her kids’ summer.

Bottorff said indoor pools are her normal go-to, but she wouldn’t be comfortable taking her kids to one. Instead, her family takes advantage of their yard space by setting up sprinklers and having her kids play with water sprayers. The same holds true for parks, as Bottorff takes her children to the local school’s playground instead of the more crowded metro parks.

“It tends to be abandoned,” Bottorff said.

Similarly, Vandenberg and her family bought their own pool that they put up during Memorial Day weekend and have used since.

Lugo also said the pandemic changed her family’s investments. Her family has spent more time outdoors and on hikes, leading them to purchase items such as waterproof pants, inflatable boats to take out on the water and other hiking gear.

The family also purchased a trampoline.

“(It’s) taking up a lot of the backyard, but they enjoy that,” Lugo said after laughing.

Amid the rush of participating in — and spending more on — outdoor activities, Karnes said keeping distance is still possible through a plethora of activities. Games that require close contact, such as soccer, could be replaced with a game of Frisbee. A water balloon toss where children attempt to see how far apart they can toss balloons from is both an ideal way to stay cool and keep up with social distancing.

It’s not just summer activities that require thinking outside of the box. Dr. Chris Ladish at Mary Bridge Children’s and MultiCare Behavioral Health Network encourages parents to “meet their children where they are.” Ladish, chief clinical officer of Pediatric Behavioral Health, said a child’s understanding of the pandemic depends more on a variety of factors than a specific age. A child’s individual development level, how they take in information and their exposure to information all play a role.

Ladish said parents should take those factors in mind and then put the pandemic in a context that their children will understand.

“We use the term, you know, COVID and pandemic, and things like that, but those are actually fairly abstract concepts that the kids probably had never heard about before,” she said. “Drawing back to concepts that they understand and talking about, you know, the risk of getting sick and not feeling well, having an illness, is something that they can identify with because they’ve heard that terminology before.”

Ladish said it’s also imperative for children to know that anyone can get COVID-19. It helps to put the concept into umbrella terms children can understand, such as saying the virus impacts “all of Earth.”

“You could use concepts like saying … ‘You know, it’s also where grandma and grandpa live; it’s also where your cousin lives, and it’s also here and down the street,’ so that kids kind of understand the concept of ‘it’s not just right here in our household, but there’s risk of getting it in a lot of different environments,’” Ladish said.

Ladish also said parents should be careful to control their attitudes and not to project their anxieties onto children during this time. Everyone — parents included — needs to be reminded of what they can control during a time where hopelessness feels widespread. For this, Ladish likes to use the metaphor of a flashlight.

Using such a strategy can help families feel more empowered and regain a sense of control that many have lost during the pandemic, Ladish said.

“What we choose to focus that flashlight on really is what we’re more aware of,” she said. “So, we can focus our flashlight on something that makes us feel worried and afraid, and out of control, or we can focus, you know the attention of the flashlight of our mind on the things that we can control and that can help us, you know, move day to day through this.”

Rolling with punch after punch for over a year isn’t what parents were expecting, but it has included some bright spots. Vandenberg has seen her daughters getting along more, somewhat putting aside the sibling rivalry. For Bottorff, Lugo and Ohara, the ability to pick up on their child’s learning style from home and see them flourish academically despite the circumstances has remained memorable.

“I was really able to be there for them when they were in an environment where they’re not all day with teachers,” Bottorff said. “I had the ability and freedom to be able to do that, so in a school year where most kids slipped back, he actually pushed ahead ... that was good for our family.”

This story was originally published August 16, 2021 at 10:23 AM.