He lost hope when he found his mother dead. Then a kind teacher gave him something to live for

Like a lot of children’s book authors, John “Push” Gaines hopes to send a message to young readers.

His new illustrated book, “Kia the Queen,” re-released earlier this year, does that with colorful illustrations and gentle words.

It’s a story based loosely on his own life, with lessons learned and happy ending.

But Gaines’ real story is a harrowing one.

Gaines, now 31, remembers waking up one night to the sound of loud bangs when he was 5 years old and living on Tacoma’s Hilltop.

Gaines’ mother ran into her son’s bedroom.

“She said, ‘Baby, go back to sleep. It’s just firecrackers,’” he recalled earlier this month in a conversation with The News Tribune.

Only years later did he realize they really were gunshots.

It was the early 1990s, and when the sun set on the Hilltop, a nightly war over drugs, money and turf would start up.

Gaines’ mother tried to protect her son from the crack cocaine menace that was altering or ending scores of lives.

Gaines is living proof she succeeded, but the price paid was steep.

“A lot of the drugs, a lot of the chaos went on not only in my neighborhood but also in my house,” Gaines said earlier this month.

Gaines felt loved by his mother, but crack had a hold on her.

“I was born with drugs in my system,” Gaines said. “Because of that I had a speech impediment. I had learning disabilities I had to overcome.”

In 1995, when he was seven, Gaines came home from school to find his mother dead from a stroke brought on by chronic drug use.

“I felt like I lost hope,” Gaines recalled.

‘KIA THE QUEEN’

Today, Gaines is a community relations manager for Tacoma Public Utilities and a motivational speaker.

“Kia the Queen” is told through a lion cub, Kia, who is raised by an older brother after their parents die.

The cub is female, a nod, Gaines said, to his older sister, Jazz. And because he doesn’t feel there’s enough female heroes in children’s books. Gaines is father to an 8-month-old daughter.

“I felt like all young people would be able to connect with it,” he said of the story.

Kia talks funny, and she can’t read well. The other animals make fun of her.

Kia’s teacher, Ms. C, teaches the importance of having a dream.

Once Kia believes in herself, she overcomes her adversities.

“You can still be the king or the queen,” Gaines said. “Nothing changes the value you have on the inside.”

Today, when he reads “Kia” to children, some are drawn to him. Teachers tell him they are usually the children who have similar challenges, be they with reading, learning disabilities or a rough childhood.

“They can connect the dots,” he said.

TRAGEDY TO HOPE

Like so many children who grow up in chaos, Gaines and his sister adapted. His older brother had left home for college by the time their mother died.

“We know what crack cocaine smells like,” Gaines said earlier this month. “We would walk into a home, and we would know.”

Gaines and his sister accepted it as the norm “because it was so consistent with a lot of our friends and their families,” he said.

Their mother provided food and didn’t leave them alone.

“I knew she loved us,” he said.

But her death ended any semblance of a future.

Gaines returned to first grade at Bryant Elementary School depressed. He had anger issues.

It was a problem until Martin Luther King Jr. Day approached.

Gaines’ teacher, Alisa Keolker, had her students write their own “I have a dream” essays.

“One day, I want to be a doctor, like Dr. King,” Gaines recalled writing. At the time, he really didn’t understand what a doctor did.

“I knew he was respected and did positive things for people,” he said. “I wanted to be like that.”

He also wanted to play college football.

“I said you absolutely can do that,” Keolker recalled telling him. He could be a doctor — he could be a football player.

The other kids chuckled, but Gaines didn’t let them get to him.

“It was the first time when someone outside my brother or my grandmother said, ‘I believe in you,’” he recalled. “It’s easy to be the star of your family.

“I truly began to believe in myself. I realized I had value. It was the first time I felt like I had some hope.”

Gaines also realized he had a choice in how he responded to the adversity he faced.

“I sat down with my brother who was helping me with my homework,” Gaines recalled of a time when he was still living with his grandmother. “I just started crying because I didn’t understand it,”

“I just remember being surprised that he couldn’t read,” brother Donyelle Frazier, 45, said earlier this month.

“For that whole summer we read Dr. Seuss books,” Gaines said.

When he was 12, Gaines moved in with Frazier and his wife Rebecca.

Frazier told Rebecca before they were married that he would one day raise his brother.

“We’re a package deal,” Frazier said. “Luckily, I had a very supportive wife who was in my corner.”

Frazier saw a change come over his younger brother. He attributes it to structure — something Gaines had been lacking.

“Dinner and breakfast and homework and church and those types of things,” Frazier said. “We had focus, so he had focus.”

A few years later, Gaines was attending Bellarmine Preparatory School with financial assistance. He applied himself even further to reading comprehension.

“I still love to read,” he said.

Bellarmine was a formative time in Gaines’ life. It exposed him to different cultures and lifestyles.

“I came from an area where everyone looked like me,” he said.

He learned that kids from wealthy families can have challenges, too.

“Sometimes they don’t get to see their parents because of work schedules,” he said.

It was there at Bellarmine that he first tried to share his story through poetry. He wasn’t always successful.

“I wasn’t ashamed of my past,” he said. “I didn’t know how to share it.”

He went on to attend East Central University in Oklahoma, where he played football and was made captain.

It wasn’t until his early 20s when he first publicly shared his story.

“When I realized there was power behind my story, I became more comfortable with sharing it,” he said.

PUSH

Gaines’ nickname, Push, comes from the inspirational messages he sends to his friends. He ends each message with, “Keep pushing.”

P.U.S.H., he explained, stands for persevere, practice or pray until something happens.

He’s started a non-profit, P.U.S.H., to help young people, “push past their pain to become the person they were created to be.”

Gaines mentors young people one-on-one and in groups. He speaks at a variety of events and institutions, including the recent Black History Celebration at the People’s Community Center Feb. 22.

Gaines isn’t naïve. He knows that the receiver must be receptive to the message. He hopes his book will reach those that might not be open in other ways.

“It’s another avenue to share my story,” he said. “If I would have had this book, it would have drastically changed my life.”

He also hopes it will inspire others to share their stories, no matter how harrowing.

“As a society, we are not comfortable talking about this,” he said. “Everyone has a story. Everyone goes through something.”

Keolker, who still teaches, said she has learned from Gaines.

“He has taught me so much,” she said earlier this month. “Every word that comes out of my mouth is important as a teacher. These kids really do listen to what we say.”

Gaines received his doctorate in business administration in January.

This story was originally published March 23, 2019 at 2:05 PM.