‘You can do this.’ Pierce County court celebrates family reunifications with car parade

Outside the Remann Hall juvenile justice center in Tacoma, a procession of cars drove around the traffic circle on Friday afternoon.

They were gathering for the annual family reunification celebration when parents, children, social workers, attorneys and other stakeholders gather to honor Pierce County families who have reunified after going through dependency court.

The dependency process is for cases of child abuse and neglect when the court rules parents must go through training and programs to address issues such as substance abuse or mental health struggles.

While some cases don’t have a happy ending, many do. Those positive outcomes were the cause of Friday’s celebration.

Usually, the event happens in June at Wapato Park. But this year, due to COVID-19, every part of dependency court has changed — including the reunification celebration.

“It’s something that’s always looked forward to by the people that work out here and also by the families as well,” said Pierce County Superior Court Judge Ed Murphy, who works on dependency cases.

Instead of in-court hearings granting custody back to parents, Murphy said, the coronavirus forced the court told hearings by telephone or Zoom conferences.

“We would give a certificate signed by the judge, and we have bears that we would give to the kids. We haven’t been able to do that in person since COVID has struck,” Murphy said. “Our great staff here has been working hard to try to figure out a way to celebrate reunification day in a way that would be safe for everybody.”

One of the event organizers saw a drive-through graduation parade and decided to explore having a similar celebration.

Stakeholders donated baskets, which were distributed to families. This year, the baskets were filled with themed goodies to help families have fun while staying safe.

From January to mid-July of this year, 242 children have gone through dependency court in Pierce County. This year, 169 families received invitations to the reunification celebration. According to Murphy, usually about 40 parents, 80 kids and 65 professionals and volunteers attend the event.

One of the parents in attendance this year was Barbara Curtis Maefau.

Maefau, 24, was reunited with her twin daughters on Valentine’s Day of this year. The girls were removed from her care a few days after they were born in October 2018. Maefau was struggling with depression and had her hands full raising her two older children, now three and four years old.

Maefau participated in Pierce County Baby Court, a program designed specifically to help parents reunite with their babies and toddlers.

She fulfilled all of the court’s requirements, including mental health counseling and parenting classes. Maefau says she made a conscious decision to do everything the court asked of her and more, since she knew she needed help.

“I didn’t have a firm foundation, I didn’t have support,” Maefau said. “I knew that I had underlying issues. I knew that I had trauma from my past, and I knew I had depression. I know that I needed the skills that I didn’t have.”

Paul O’Brien, Maefau’s attorney, said she took every opportunity to work with the court to regain custody of her twins.

“She was very good at utilizing the resources,” he said, adding that her case is an example of parents and stakeholders working as a team for a positive outcome.

Now, Maefau reflects on the time she spent preparing to regain custody of her twins as a period of important growth and healing.

“It made me into a better mother and a better woman,” she said.

Maefau says the people she met through Baby Court-assigned programs became mentors to her. She still stays in touch with her social worker.

In addition to her twins and two older children, Maefau has two stepchildren. When people ask her how she manages such a big family, she said she takes it one day at a time — but she’s always grateful for time with her kids.

“Even with me being a CNA (certified nursing assistant) and I work crazy hours, I still make time to spend with my children and get that one-on-one,” she said. “I keep on remembering my ‘why’ and where I was at before. And just humbling myself.”

Maefau’s case is one example of a positive result from Baby Court.

Sally Mednansky, family and juvenile court improvement court coordinator at Pierce County Juvenile Court, said cases like Maefau’s are what make this event so important for the social workers, lawyers and coordinators.

“I think in this work it’s not always a happy ending,” said Mednansky. “And for them to have that reminder that all of their hard work in working with these families — that they can be reunified. When we have healthy families, we have healthier communities.”

At the reunification ceremony, Maefau’s four biological children, partner and aunt gathered around her as she recounted her experiences with the dependency court. She emphasized the positive outcome the program had on her life.

Maefau hopes to continue helping other parents who are struggling. Her message to other mothers going through the same process is to take advantage of all the support programs available.

“You can do this, even when you think that you can’t,” Maefau said. “There’s so many resources and there’s so many strong women that are rooting for you.”