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The Nose: Ah, the sweet smell of political harmony – or is that burning ego?

Thank goodness the presidential primary is over. The Sniff loves the sweet smell of civic harmony.

Meaningful results are so clarifying. The gentle crooning of voter voices turns frowns upside down. Just look at the state’s political parties, setting their internal differences aside, running through the human tunnel, handing out the orange slices and juice boxes.

(Urgent alert tone from NosePhone … sounds of scuffling … stifled profanities) … what’s that? No harmony? Meaningless results? No juice boxes? Shoot! (Delete, delete).

 
Is this the picture of harmony?

Unfortunately, Tuesday’s election results did little to ease the hostilities between Hillarybots and Berniebros. Hillary Clinton backers are back in full smug, touting the Tuesday numbers as proof of the voters’ true wishes, while conveniently omitting an awkward point: State Democrats decided long ago that primary voters’ wishes are worth about as much as a diploma from Trump University.

This is where Bernie Sanders supporters score their biggest point. Sure, they say – Hillary lovers won a meaningless beauty contest where votes don’t count and Bernie’s folks weren’t motivated.

Bernie’s peeps say they dominated the real contest: the state caucuses earlier in the year, featuring a fraction of the voters who cast ballots Tuesday, thus proving the true will of the people, or something.

Bernie’s peeps say they dominated the real contest: the precinct caucuses earlier in the year, featuring a fraction of the voters who cast ballots Tuesday, thus proving the true will of the people, or something. And so it goes, as the great anchorwoman used to say.

As for the Republicans, it’s all good, right? Donald Trump stomped the competition, which was no small feat, considering they gave up weeks ago. The Rs held their state convention over the weekend, and Trump talk was rampant.

State party chairwoman Susan Hutchison is on board with the Donald; she even tweeted a picture of herself, supposedly talking strategy with His Hairness (reportedly, Trump’s Secret Service code name is MOGUL).

Oh, but wait — two of this year’s highest-profile R candidates haven’t punched their Trump Train tickets. Chris Vance, hoping to topple U.S. Sen. Patty Murray, is openly anti-Trump, for whatever it’s worth. Gubernatorial candidate Battling Bill Bryant, aiming to unseat Gov. Big Jay Inslee, prefers to play coy: he’s not endorsing Trump, he’s not opposing Trump, he wants to talk about other issues, only scruffy reporters care about this stuff — the standard who-me play.

Presumably, Bryant’s campaign consultants keep secret sets of internal polling numbers in a vault, as though it’s some sort of secret that The Donald might fall slightly short in a blue state in November. Tuesday’s meaningless primary results couldn’t have improved the outlook: Dems — 57 percent of the vote, Rs — 43 percent. Optimism!

Who knows, maybe Hutchison and her party pals will talk Bryant into endorsing the nominee. Maybe Bryant’s lukewarm poll numbers would jump after a Trump Bump. According to the Sniff’s research, the Trump Bump can be reduced with certain antibiotics, but the swelling never abates entirely.

Speaking of defeats: Looks like Tim Eyman, the state’s premier initiative peddler, had a tough week. Thursday, the Washington Supreme Court exiled his latest measure to The Island of Misfit Initiatives. The place is largely populated with previous Eyman ventures.

The Supremes, singing in unison, said Initiative 1366, a tax-cutting proposal narrowly approved by voters, violated the state’s single-subject rule, a subtle legal provision that prevents tricky maneuvers such as blowing up state government and amending the state Constitution at the same time (OK, it’s more complicated than that, but the nuts and bolts don’t lend themselves to comedy.)

The thing is, the high court’s ruling marks the umpteenth time an Eyman-backed measure drove straight off the single-subject cliff. You’d think Eyman and the folks who move the levers in his back would have learned the meaning of ROAD CLOSED by now.

The thing is, the high court’s ruling marks the umpteenth time an Eyman-backed measure drove straight off the single-subject cliff. You’d think Eyman and the folks who move the levers in his back would have learned the meaning of ROAD CLOSED by now.

What’s more, Eyman sent a note to a reporters this week, saying he’d taken a painful tumble.

“I got into a nasty bicycle accident and broke my shoulder,” he said.

Ouch. Heal up, Tim — and when you get that single-subject thing figured out, let us know.

Got news for The Nose? Write to TheNose@thenewstribune.com. Twitter: @thenosetribune

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