Gig Harbor woman on mission to break ‘wine mommy’ culture. Here’s how she’s doing it
A year-long lockdown, boring days at home, and the glamorization of “wine mommy culture” have been a bad combination for many women during the pandemic, says a Gig Harbor mom who’s trying to help.
Anika Blake is a 39-year-old mother of two. Even before the pandemic and lockdowns took hold, she realized she no longer wanted to have alcohol be a part of her life, so she quit drinking.
But it was hard during the pandemic for many women, bored and stuck at home with the kids, with the sly memes on the internet encouraging drinking. While men are at risk too, she notes that much of the marketing appears aimed at women.
“When you go to Target and all the t-shirts are like ‘Rosé all day’ or you know ‘Mommy Juice’ or whatever,” Blake said, that’s a message from the dominant culture that drinking at home is okay.
Now, she is looking to help other women, specifically mothers, who may be struggling with alcohol abuse. She has started a Facebook group, called “Alcohol Free Mom Tribe” and an Instagram page to create an online support network for women. The group’s mission statement is to “normalize the reality of alcohol abuse amongst women in a society that glamorizes the ‘wine mommy culture.’”
The alcohol-free moms are “an almost underground movement of moms saying ‘it doesn’t have to be that way,’” Blake said. “It’s okay to buck the trend and choose something different. I’m putting a voice to that and sharing my journey more authentically and out loud on social media and in real life.”
Blake also has garnered 1,500 followers on her TikTok account, where she posts about her own personal journey of adopting a healthier lifestyle.
‘I have found my tribe’
One Gig Harbor member of the Alcohol-Free Mom Tribe posted this after finding the site: “.... I knew my drinking had gotten out of hand and I was ready to make a change. The group inspired me to go from drinking 1-2 glasses of wine each and every night to not touching alcohol for over 4 months.
“The women in the group are so open with their stories, journeys, and the struggles they face along the way. I felt at ease sharing my own experiences with them knowing there was no judgment, only love and support from this amazing group of women. I am so thankful to have found my tribe.”
Blake is a former IT worker who now makes a living as a fitness coach for Beachbody. She lives in the Artondale area of Gig Harbor with her two children, Brylee, 8, and Bennet, 6.
In an interview with The Gateway, Blake talked about how she began her own journey.
“I had started last January, pre-COVID, and done ‘dry January’ just as a thing for myself,” Blake said. “I then just felt so much better after that that I kept going and rolled it into February, then got on a health and fitness kick.”
Then the country fell into the midst of the pandemic, with people struggling to maintain their sobriety when isolated and alone. Even Alcoholics Anonymous had to switch to Zoom meetings.
“Once COVID set in, I just realized I hadn’t stopped drinking before then. I thought I would really be in trouble now because I had seen so many of my other mom friends’ alcohol use uptick during that time,” Blake said. “It was just really a socially acceptable, ‘well of course that’s what we’re doing.’”
Use of alcohol jumped
As the year went on, Blake began to see how many of her friends were struggling. Across the county, large groups of adults saying they were drinking more and many in recovery saying they were relapsing into past addictions.
A survey found that the longer adults spent time lodged in their homes during coronavirus lockdowns last March, the more they consumed alcohol — with about a third of respondents admitting to binge drinking.
Among the binge drinkers, the odds of consuming heavy amounts of alcohol jumped an extra 19% for every week of lockdown, according to the survey carried out by experts at the University of Texas Health Science Center School of Public Health in Dallas.
Blake decided to start a group to support those who may be alone.
“I’ve always really enjoyed cultivating community,” Blake said. “Just growing organically a group of moms supporting each other so it shouldn’t take having to hit a rock bottom moment.”
For Blake, that means not necessarily always considering oneself an alcoholic but often just making a healthier decision to cut out unhealthy forces in your life. (Her group is not connected with Alcoholics Anonymous, although she supports their work.)
“It’s just about finding other outlets instead,” Blake said.
Blake hasn’t done many in-person events, though she has met with other moms one-on-one to support them with whatever they are struggling with. But the real strength of the group, members say, is in community.
“I have found it personally so encouraging to have a more intimate group of ladies,” a group member posted from Longview recently. “It feels safer to open up on too. I am very grateful for the support and encouragement!”
She now hopes to continue growing her online community and helping people wherever she can.
“Long-term, we’re hoping to launch a website later this year and be able to get more women plugged into the resources,” Blake said.
Blake says she is already seeing the work pay off, with neighbors and friends saying she has inspired them to begin making healthier choices for themselves.
“Getting people to be more mindful about what is the reason that they drink,” Blake said. “I just wanted to break that cycle.”
This story was originally published June 9, 2021 at 5:30 AM.
