The Nose: That ‘scenic’ highway? Umm ... not so scenic. Plus, primary results suggest a straight-up Roach-for-Roach trade

Ah, summer. The Sniff loves nothing more than a whiff of mountain-fresh air and a behind-the-wheel survey of Pierceland’s scenic vistas.

And now, thanks to County Councilman Jim McCune, it’s possible to add another viewpoint to the travelogue — namely, the panoramic splendor of 21802 Mountain Highway E., way out there in the Spanaway sticks.

Let’s see… (sets GPS, selects route, begins driving) … gun shop, pawn shop, bikini barista hut … (continues driving) … used tire store, fast-food fry pit, vacant shopping center … (continues driving) … and here we are!

Hey! What’s “scenic” about this? (Checks notes). Councilman McCune said this was scenic. That’s why he proposed a buffer to prevent horrible retail pot shops from opening around here, to protect the scenic highway from visual blight.

Those pot shop owners who sued the county over the buffer? Just cranks who hate scenic highways, clearly.

The Fishwrap’s Bold Brynn Grimley told readers about the disaster this week. The lawsuit settled, and the county backed off, but only after paying a private law firm wads of cash to pitch the “scenic” idea and slowly realizing that a judge was likely to send it to The Land of Specious Arguments. So much for beautiful vistas.

McCune, something of a vanisher when faced with political adversity, didn’t answer questions about the county’s legal faceplant. Still, it’s important for important media types like The Sniff to chase issues to the bitter end. Surely something scenic would appear at the Mountain Highway address, marred by the nastiness of the aforementioned pot shop.

Hm … a smoke shop, an espresso shack, a storage-unit rental place. All beautiful and compelling, perhaps — but not exactly scenic in the traditional sense.

Here’s a theory: Maybe McCune meant to say “scenery” instead of “scenic.” The difference is big. If you’re talking about “scenery,” you could be talking about scenery for a PowerPoint presentation depicting drab, strip-mall-style development. You could be talking about scenery for a dystopian independent film set in a faceless suburban landscape.

Now it all makes perfect sense.

All in the family: If Tuesday’s primary election returns are any indication, the prospect of state Sen. Pam Roach shapeshifting into Pierce County Councilwoman Pam Roach is inflating like a political bounce house.

It’s a long way from November, but Senator Pam was close to the 45 percent mark in Tuesday’s primary results. The Auburn/Sumner Republican (we can’t keep track of Pam’s addresses anymore) was a long way ahead of her likely general election challenger, Democrat Carolyn Edmonds, labeled “a carpetbagger” by Senator Pam, proving the adage that we’re most likely to spot our own flaws in others.

While it’s a hoot to picture Councilwoman Pam descending on Tacoma like a pistol-packing rainbomb, political gossips are buzzing about the next potential step. Senator Pam played coy during the campaign when asked whether she’d resign her Senate seat if she wins the county seat, and suggested she might keep both jobs.

Tuesday night, after initial returns came in, she reversed course, and said she’d resign her Senate seat if voters install her on the council this November.

That little move raised a few eyebrows. Cynics suggested that Senator Pam held off on agreeing to resign until she saw the depressing returns for her son, Councilman Dan Roach, who took a run at Pierce County executive, but came in third, missing a chance to move on to the general election.

Ready for some political math? Stop snoring! This is the good part.

See, if Senator Pam resigns to become Councilwoman Pam, her state Senate seat has to be filled by appointment. Who makes that appointment? Why, it’s the combined forces of the King and Pierce County councils, because Senator Pam’s district straddles the county line like a shambling behemoth.

Now ask yourself who might be a good fit to carry on Senator Pam’s legacy. If you guessed Councilman Dan, you just earned your Junior Political Cynic Badge. The scenario is a straight-up trade: the state Senate gets Dan, the County Council gets Pam. Watch how this one plays, and remember — don’t ever take sides with anyone against the Family.

You call this news? The Sniff prefers not to pick on lesser local fishwraps, but sometimes their antics are too strange to ignore. Take the July 29 edition of the Tacoma Weekly.

The front page led with a giant screamer: a three-deck bold headline with three pictures, announcing … a preview of the campaign kickoff for Your Prosecutor, Zen Master Mark Lindquist, who won’t face re-election until 2018.

The big story jumped inside, with four more columns of detail. Meanwhile, stuff like the county’s bid to host another U.S. Open and a profile of a Tacoma artist were relegated to sidebars.

All in all, the package was ... odd. The three front-page pictures, supplied by Lindquist, came from his April 2014 campaign kickoff.

Hey, cutting and pasting the prosecutor’s press releases and printing them verbatim is fun and all — who are we to judge? But previewing a campaign kickoff for an election that won’t start for two years, while using pictures from a 2-year-old event at an entirely different location? That’s a little iffy.

No one asked The Sniff, but it seems like other front-page options were available, including a preview of, you know, THIS year’s election, the one where people were actually voting. Timing is everything.

This story was originally published August 4, 2016 at 3:50 PM with the headline "The Nose: That ‘scenic’ highway? Umm ... not so scenic. Plus, primary results suggest a straight-up Roach-for-Roach trade."