Five reasons Washington voters might swallow soda tax ban

Buffalo News file cartoon

This week’s TNT Five Spot: Five reasons Big Soda is bubbling with confidence that Washington voters will pass Initiative 1634, which would ban communities from taxing sugary beverages.

1 The measure is called the “Keep Groceries Affordable Act of 2018,” instead of the “Keep Obesity and Diabetes Acceptable Act of 2018.” Deceptive genius like that doesn’t grow on trees.

2 Testing on lab rats shows they will forfeit local control, cave to corporate interests and ignore public health warnings as long as there’s a cold, fizzy drink at the end of the maze.

3 Endorsements from trusted public figures including Dr. Pepper, Mr. Pibb and the Minute Maid.

4 The industry will spend millions to promote I-1634 before November. (Suggested bumper sticker: “You can tax my Super Big Gulp when you pry it from my cold, dead, flabby hands.”)

5 Seattle recently started taxing soda. Everything Seattle does is evil. Therefore, taxing soda is evil.

And special this week - a bonus sixth spot:

6 Washington governments already tax the !@#$ out of marijuana. Ain’t no way folks will give up their cheap Coke.