This week’s Five Spot: Five things you might overhear President Trump say if you ever run into him shopping for his own groceries.
2 “This cart is too small for my Secret Service detail, and it has a broken wheel. Go get the limo and bring it inside.”
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3 “Here’s the paper towel aisle. Let’s buy 10 packs and swing by Puerto Rico on the way home for some more hurricane relief, Trump style!”
4 “So many screaming kids in this place, you’d think we were at a Border Patrol checkpoint or something.”
5 “Melania says she wants a melon. Get the Agriculture secretary on the phone and ask him how to tell if a cantaloupe is ripe.”