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Opinion

5 custom headstone inscriptions for the Tacoma area

We have at least five ideas for headstone inscriptions, and we just can’t keep them boxed up anymore.
We have at least five ideas for headstone inscriptions, and we just can’t keep them boxed up anymore.

Five epitaphs for Tacoma area headstones, in keeping with the Halloween spirit.



1. Here lies Helen, Tacoma hardly knew her

– Shoulda worn a helmet on that darn Lime Scooter.

2. The couple was so young, so strong and so healthy

– But a Point Defiance cliff is no place for a selfie.

3. Felix Van Buren McFeeley Farrar

– Grew up in Orting, a budding track star.

– All they found were his shoes, couldn’t outrun a lahar.

4. Beneath this stone lies a cadaver most graphic

– An election sign waver who stepped out into traffic.

5. RIP, Chuck. His basement pot farm made him lazy

– Grow lights caught fire, now he’s pushing up daisies.

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