Why no Trump trip to Great Northwest? Five reasons he didn’t venture beyond California

Five guesses why President Trump skipped Washington state this week on his West Coast visit to California.

1. While our state has a similar ratio of out-of-touch liberals for him to verbally abuse, California has a lot more multimillionaire conservative donors for him to schmooze.

2. His people tried to book the Tacoma Dome for a rally, but Elton John refused to give up either of his two nights there.

3. He was upset that the Department of Fish & Wildlife wouldn’t issue special permits to Eric and Donald Jr. for an open-water orca hunt.

4. His science advisers warned that Hurricane Dorian was about to make a devastating pass across the Pacific Northwest.

5. He heard that Gov. Jay Inslee and Attorney General Bob Ferguson were building a wall to block his motorcade, constructed of file drawers full of lawsuits they’ve filed against his administration.