‘These are my people!’ Finally I can say those words

Have you heard the expression, “finding your tribe”? It refers to seeking a group of people with whom you know you truly belong, regardless of genealogy, occupation or residence.

When someone exclaims “these are my people!” they are affirming a special connection. Although I am familiar with the concept, I never really felt part of a tribe. Until this year.

While I’ve come close to achieving this sense of truly belonging with my military service and law enforcement cohorts, it never felt fully genuine. Perhaps the closest I came to that feeling is with the group of soldiers with whom I deployed in 2009.

Training for and serving together in a war is a bonding experience like no other, and I’m honored to have been accepted into this special family.

Still, an essential, undefinable element was missing. Regardless of the reasons why, this subtle disconnect nagged at my subconscious.

2019 changed all that, thanks to some unexpected opportunities and events. First, I became a full-time caddie, instead of one of those guys who filled in during tournaments and busy days.

Thanks to a couple of supportive bosses (thanks, BP and Zepper!), and our really classy corps of veteran loopers, I fully committed to my new craft.

This decision opened the door to complete immersion in the golf community. I’d been introduced to “hickory golf,” aka playing with hickory wood shaft clubs, three years ago, which refreshed my joy of playing and spawned a strong interest in golf history.

It also awakened a desire to play on the legendary Scottish and American courses, in the footsteps of legends. This in turn led me to reading two best-selling non-fiction books chronicling a dude named Tom Coyne and his journeys of golf and self-discovery: “A Course Called Ireland” and a semi-sequel, “A Course Called Scotland.”

Last summer, I sent Tom an email letting him know how much I enjoyed his adventures. He responded by inviting me to join him for his annual golf outing, held in Scotland in August. I quickly signed up and started corresponding with Tom and his huge circle of golf friends.

Next thing I knew, I was hosting Tom at Chambers Bay during his research for a new book. That was followed, two months later, by spending 12 days playing links with Tom and 25 new friends.

Riding the bus back to our hotel after our first day on the links, I realized that “these are my people!” It wasn’t really a surprise, because I’ve been on the periphery of this group for most of my life, thanks to my dad and golf-playing relatives and friends.

I was especially honored by the Scottish caddies, who treated me like a brother once they learned I was a serious looper myself.

Although my play in the matches won no prizes, I was accorded the rare honor of being named an “honorary caddie” at two historic courses, with the embroidered hats and towels to prove it. I felt fully accepted by the oldest branch of The Golf Tribe.

While it took me a half century to discover and join my tribe, it was worth the wait. Though part of me wishes I’d discovered it earlier, there’s also a good chance I wouldn’t have realized back then that this is where I was meant to be.

Now the pressure is off, and I’m just going to enjoy this special feeling while it lasts.

This story was originally published December 20, 2019 at 1:29 PM with the headline "‘These are my people!’ Finally I can say those words."