Washington Democrats are trying to cut gun-related deaths again. Enough is enough! | Opinion
Well, here they go again. Democrats. Liberals. Quote-unquote reasonable people. The types that bring their own bags to the grocery store. Everyone who drives a Subaru.
They’re after our guns — like always. And it’s the same story as always. This time, they’re pushing some bill in Olympia that would require Washington residents to take training classes and obtain a permit before purchasing a firearm. What’s next? Mandating a woke “test” before new drivers are allowed to hit the road? Banning lead-based paint because a few kids turned out small? I’m so sick of this creeping, pinko socialism.
Seriously. It’s always the same story with these radicals. First, they trot out the slick experts and the data, which shows what it always shows: that guns lead to bad things. (No kidding! So does shooting bottle rockets at your second cousin on the Fourth of July; it’s called freedom, you twits.) Then they come up with some new law or regulation that will supposedly make us safer and reduce gun-related deaths. For reasons I can’t comprehend, a whole lot of people — and by people I clearly mean the fake Americans — go along with it.
The next thing you know, they’re off and running — launching the latest assault on my liberty as an average guy with a pronounced hypermasculinity complex.
I, for one, am tired of it. In fact, I’m beyond tired. I’m mad as hell. Even madder than usual — which is really saying something these days. Trust me.
When I was young, we grew up right. We cuddled and caressed our guns. We held them tightly. We slept with them as babies. It was all we knew. Every year on my birthday, my dad would load me into the family car and take me shooting in the woods. For hours, we didn’t talk. We just fired rounds into empty Coors cans, until we ran out of bullets or one of us started to cry. It was a simpler time.
Why do Democrats want to take away everything that’s good and pure?
Why are they constantly attacking my way of life?
Last year, Washington’s legislature — with plenty of prodding from our embarrassment of a governor and attorney general, drunk on their “overwhelming support” from voters — passed the latest array of so-called gun violence prevention laws.
They banned high-capacity magazines, making it nearly impossible for the average god-fearing citizen to defend a modest ranch home from a Mad Max band of intruders in the night.
They prohibited openly carrying firearms at city council and school board meetings, instantly negating the only good reason to show up to a city council or school board meeting (looking totally swole and awesome).
Finally, as if that wasn’t enough, they banned the making, assembly, sale and purchase of “ghost” guns, which are untraceable, just like Casper — if you could order Casper online and accidentally shoot someone in the face with him (which, IMHO, would make him a more relatable character).
When will it stop? That’s the question, and one I think about a lot. It keeps me up at night.
Sometimes, I get up in the early morning hours and just look at my guns — all of them. I slowly trace my finger along cold metal and wonder what I’d be without them. How would I feel whole? How would I navigate the world? What about all the bumper stickers?
It’s a lot to deal with, frankly. My identity is kind of tied up in this thing.
So here’s what I think:
The attack will stop when people like me — the loud, aggrieved, literal minority — finally stand up and say, “Enough is enough!”
This time they want us to take gun safety classes and get a permit, like 16 other states across the country. It’s a slippery slope. Before you know it, we’ll be Canada, and I hate Tim Horton’s and universal healthcare.
It will stop when all of us — and particularly the 3% of adult Americans who own nearly half of the 265 million guns in the country — put our stout, patriotic feet down in protest.
It will stop when, as a society, we finally acknowledge what matters most.
My rights, precisely as I perceive them — above all else.
To hell with everyone else. That’s my argument.
Who’s with me?
This story was originally published February 11, 2023 at 5:00 AM.
