From retail to lifelong friends. Meet Tacoma’s ‘Bon girls’ | Opinion
June Craig wants everyone to feel included. That’s clear from the length of the table stretching through the main dining room in the Ram Restaurant on a recent Thursday. There, dozens of former department store workers sit to enjoy a meal and each other’s company, just like they do every month.
Craig is likely the oldest in the group, which she launched after retirement 30 years ago, and she isn’t shy about sharing that she’s in her 90s. She’s proud of it. But she makes sure I know that she doesn’t color her neatly waved brown hair.
Whatever Craig’s secret to a long, happy life is, I have a feeling that strong social connections are a big part of the answer. As a ringleader of a group of former co-workers that meets every month, she’s the walking embodiment of what experts say improves the lives of older and retired people. Deep social connections and a purpose.
But to her, it’s just the continuation of the community she found for decades at the Bon Marche, now Macy’s, at the Tacoma Mall. It was a special group of department store workers who always took care of each other.
One example that stands out is a woman whose car broke down; her Bon co-worker gave her another one to use so she could get to work.
“We bonded at the Bon as a family,” she said. “If someone was in need of something, we all got together and saw to it that they got taken care of.”
Supporting each other and the children’s hospital
Craig’s eyes do nothing short of twinkle when she describes her 30 years at the Bon, and then the 30 years that followed organizing a group of retirees.
Originally, the lunch group called themselves “the Bon Girls.” Then the retired men of the department store that launched the Tacoma Mall eventually wanted in, too. Although they weren’t in evidence during the February lunch I attended, the Bon had a cadre of salesmen, including my sixth grade teacher, Skip Butler.
Butler was a top salesperson in the women’s shoe department for decades. Although he died two years ago, his memory was still included at the lunch. Craig proudly showed me photos of him with the cake she made for his retirement party, complete with fondant high heels.
On the third Thursday of every month, lunch with the Bon crew includes birthday cakes, gifts and cards for members born that month. The former employees are still loyal to their departments. If a member of the group worked at the Cube teen department, for example, then retirees from the Cube will make sure the birthday gift is just right for that person.
But if someone didn’t have a department, Craig says she makes sure they have a cake and the works, “So everyone gets treated the same.”
There’s also an annual “secret pal” gift giving event, but if a member doesn’t want to participate, not to worry. Craig said she makes sure there’s also a white elephant gift exchange, so no one leaves empty-handed.
It’s more than lunch, cake and presents. From the start, Craig wanted the group to have a cause. She turned her focus immediately to Mary Bridge Children’s Hospital, a place she says is close to her heart because her infant son was successfully treated for pneumonia there decades ago.
The Bon group collects money and stuffed animals all year to donate to the hospital. They present the donations around the holidays, and also participate in the annual Festival of Trees fundraiser for Mary Bridge. Craig also extended invitations to workers from the hospital to join the group’s lunches.
The frontlines of commerce in Tacoma
The most fun question to ask a member of the Bon Girls is “what department did you work in?”
Sixty years ago, Craig began working in the Tacoma Bon Marche’s carpet department. It was the 1970s, and the store had been in its current location for around 10 years. Over the years, Craig moved into selling “big-ticket” items like appliances and electronics, and she recalls selling the store’s first cell phone before she retired in the 1990s.
It was a huge device, she remembered. She’s also very grateful the Bon gave up on selling computers, because she had no desire to learn how to use them.
Her friend Debra Stickney, now 69, was just 17 years old in the mid-1970s when she began working as a rover in the Bon. She went between departments giving people breaks from their shifts. A cute guy who worked in young menswear caught her eye, and her friends finally told him to ask Stickney out.
“We’ve been together for 50 years,” she said, “and he really, truly is the love of my life.”
Stickney said she left the Bon for a career at the candy company now called Mars, Inc. But she took a post-retirement job in the handbags department of her old employer, by that time Macy’s.
Gabriele Starkel worked in merchandising until she retired in 2019. She saw the store’s transition from the Bon Marche to Macy’s starting in 2003, and then the rise of online shopping.
By the time she retired, sales weren’t what they used to be. She remembers fondly the days when she’d leave on a Friday after working hard on a display of the best merchandise. It was thrilling, she said, to come back the next Monday to find, “Wow, it’s all gone!”
Keeping the old days alive can boost your health
It might sound obvious: Keeping in touch with the people who experienced important parts of your life can be good for you. But the effect might be greater than you think.
Psychological research has found that “reminiscence” therapy has a moderate anti-depressive effect on older adults. That’s the name of a structured activity that a trained professional can take a patient or a support group through.
It also sounds like what the Bon girls and guys have been doing for 30 years. Stickney, who returned to store after retirement, said she knew that was where she belonged, and where she knew she and her co-workers would take care of each other. That feeling carries on today.
“I mean, total happy memories of it still,” she said.
