Opinion

The five spot: 5 unpublicized earthquake tips

From the editorial board

Five earthquake precautions that state and local emergency officials forgot to put in the safety manual:

 

1 Store plenty of extra water, batteries and Miracle-Gro for your basement marijuana operation.

 

2 Rehearse tsunami evacuation drill in which family members rendezvous on roof of Tacoma Dome.

3 Politicians caught in a quake while doorbelling for votes should politely ask to keep talking under a sturdy desk or table.

 

4 Check for anything in your neighborhood that might trigger an aftershock such as a hydraulic fracking drill, particle accelerator or Marshawn Lynch.

 

5 If driving on any of Pierce County’s many structurally deficient bridges, prepare to gallop like Gertie.

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