Hillary Clinton: A note from a die-hard fan

If you voted for Donald Trump, don’t come to my funeral.

But I’m not dead. And I am not imminently about to be dead. You probably don’t know me, so why you would come anyway? It’s because I’m a multi-billionaire (when the loan comes through) and I got stuff, the best stuff; everybody wants my stuff. When I die, I’ll be passing out that great stuff. Believe me. And I did vote for Hillary Clinton.

I do whine because I want to win, and I’m not happy about not winning, and I am a whiner, and I keep whining and whining until I win. I lie awake at night and think and plot. Now the show is “Trump,” and it is a sold-out performances everywhere.

God bless the mosaic of people that make America great and that our strength, dignity, and compassion prevail.

Back to when my funeral will be, I’ll keep you in suspense, OK?

This story was originally published December 1, 2016 at 3:56 PM with the headline "Hillary Clinton: A note from a die-hard fan."