The Tacoma “Elf Storage” facility downtown needs to be investigated. I believe this is not an elf storage facility; I think it's really an Elf detention center.
Elves are entitled to due process and the chance to apply for political asylum from a lifetime of unpaid toymaking and an unchecked, yet allegedly benevolent, dictator who has ruled the North Pole for centuries.
The elves, too, have been entering the U.S. in caravans. They have gone unreported, probably due to their lack of height and the benefit of a compliant media.
Unlike many Central American illegal aliens, the elves are highly educated, speak English, are hard working and bring with them the technical skills of toymaking.
Once granted asylum, I anticipate venture capitalists will be willing to finance the elves to in-source the lost U.S. toy industry and challenge the dominant toymaking countries of Taiwan, China, Cambodia and Vietnam.
These elves will do their part to “Make America Great Again” by bringing back a great American industry.
Free the elves, it’s the smart thing to do.
Daniel Hillman, Tacoma