Social distancing: Beware my 6-foot wooden stick

“There’s something happening here, what it is ain’t exactly clear…” (Buffalo Springfield, 1967)

Blimey, I’m under house arrest by the governor. Well, it didn’t work for the people who owned me when I was 13 years old, so I don’t suppose it has much chance now.

What’s next; should we expect the National Guard checking IDs and asking our purpose on the street?

A local news channel had a cute little example of the 6-foot distance of the new social recommendations. They had a stiff extended tape showing required distance from the lepers.

I have a 6-foot dowel that I may carry and, whenever anyone gets too close, I may whack them with it.

I’m sneaking out later to mow the lawn. Shhhh, don’t tell.

This story was originally published March 21, 2020 at 7:19 PM with the headline "Social distancing: Beware my 6-foot wooden stick."