All welcome at the table, broken elbows included
There’s a little secret I want to tell you. My mama’s heart needs to tell you: We are all broken and it’s OK.
If you bring your brokenness and I bring mine, we’ll find healing, mercy and forgiveness waiting on the other side, and you know what? It’s far more beautiful than any kind of “perfect” we could envision.
Here’s a little fairy tale I tell my kids: Once upon a time there was a kingdom, and in the castle were two long tables set with mouthwatering feasts, but both tables were surrounded by starving people, because there was brokenness. Everyone had elbows that wouldn’t bend. No one’s fork could reach their mouth.
One table was full of individuals desperately trying to feed themselves, but they were starving and continually frustrated. It was hell.
At the other table, people discovered that even though they had elbows that refused to bend, they could feed each other. All were happy and all were well fed. It was heaven.
As a mama of nine raucous children, my dinner table is always a combination of heaven and hell, and that’s why I love to tell this story. It really is about all of us because we’re all broken– some visibly and some invisibly – but we’re all dependent on one another. And it’s a beautiful thing!
We have a choice to make each day: Will we be self-consumed and miserable, or will we serve each other, especially the most hungry, the most broken?
There’s a deeper question, especially in our divided world today: Who do we feed and who do we exclude from our table? Are we willing to feed everyone, even those who don’t look like us or come from the same neighborhood?
What about people who don’t pledge allegiance to the same politics or have the same color skin or income bracket or worship the same God? Or maybe we worship the same God, but hate the liberal or conservative.
What about all those “others” we don’t invite to our table? People we knowingly or unknowingly marginalize and even bully?
We need to be unafraid to talk about marginalization in our schools, homes, politics and city. Let’s stop the nonsense of exclusion, hate and violence and call out what “adults in the room” do to each other.
Instead of domination, hate and bullying, we need testimonies, peer leaders and transformations of hearts. Meanness is the fruit of an unhappy heart. It seeps from the open sores of painful insecurity. So many of us have experienced bullying; so many of us have bullied, including me, and I want to apologize. I am sorry for any brokenness I have caused or feelings of exclusion.
Now I’ll say something rabble-rousing: God loves the bullies. Twenty-five years ago a young man felt a call to go tell seven teen gang members in New York who had murdered a man “God Loves You.” He transformed their lives. Some even became pastors.
Today, there are 150 “Teen Challenges” across the U.S. They transform brokenness into restoration. One of our boys experienced the love and compassion of “Teen Challenge.” It is proof there is mercy and forgiveness on the other side.
Let’s commit today to be a beloved community, one not afraid to dive into the pain, while holding accountable all actions that are marginalizing. Let us bring unconditional “mother love” into every situation.
Let’s advocate for the bullied while wrapping our arms around those who bully. All of it is pain.
My kids get tired of hearing it, but I will never stop speaking it. Invite everyone to the feast; serve every person next to you. We can’t do it on our own. We all have broken elbows, but together we can all be fed.
Angela Connelly of Tacoma is president of the Washington Women’s Network. She is one of six TNT reader columnists who write for this page. Reach her by email at angelayconnelly@hotmail.com
This story was originally published May 18, 2018 at 12:43 PM with the headline "All welcome at the table, broken elbows included."