Time flies during college, but barely walks afterward

As I stare at the clock, the minute hand mocks me with its sluggish pace. Every minute that slides by, I’m reminded of all the free time ahead of me and how much of it I’ve wasted.

I recently graduated from the Writing Studies program at the University of Washington in Tacoma. In the weeks leading up to my graduation, I dreamed of all the free time I would gain once the commitment of school went away.

I could dive back into learning how to cook. I could practice drumming again. I could play all those games that I put on hold, and best of all, I could binge watch the shows that I had put off.

Those dreams were crushed, however, by the reality of time spent working and resting. Instead of learning how to cook a perfect pot of spaghetti, I’ve been watching Youtube videos in my free time.

Instead of practicing my drumming, I’ve been sleeping.

The minute hand taunts me. I sit paralyzed by indecision and too much choice, so I queue up another YouTube video. It’s easier to spend my time watching others live their lives than to make a decision on what to do with mine.

I watch a celebrity eat hot wings during an interview, and I mentally tell myself that I should get up and go do something, but I stay where I am, complacent with just being lazy because it is easier.

I could be trying ultimate Frisbee, but I’m here in bed. I could be taking a cooking class, but I’m too tired to get up. I could be using my free time to write more, but I’m too lazy to open up a Word document.

Post graduation, my compass lost direction. I've been slowly moving through a cycle of eat, sleep, go to work, repeat.

When I was in school, I felt like I never had time for anything besides homework and going to class. I would turn down opportunities to go out with friends or go and do some sort of leisure activity because I felt like I didn’t have the time.

Now I have all the time I want, and I am choosing to do nothing with it. Why? The problem isn’t the free time, it’s deciding what to do with it.

Am I lazy or just indecisive? Do I really not want to commit my time to an activity because I have no motivation, or because I don’t want to feel like I’ve wasted my time?

The minute hand forces me to consider all of these questions. Before long, I look up and the day has passed me by, still without any answers as to why I am feeling the way I am.

Another day wasted; time to hope that tomorrow will be different.

If I had to give any sort of lesson of this, it would be that just because someone has free time, does not mean that they know what to do with it.

If you find yourself in my boat, a boat with no wind in its sails, I say find something that interests you and commit to it. Even if it turns out to be a failure, at least you will have committed to something and done something productive.

And now the clock is telling me it’s time I take my own advice.

Michael Free, Jr., is a student who grew up in Milton and studied writing at the University of Washington Tacoma. He is one of six reader columnists who write for this page. Email him at michael.freejr8@gmail.com

This story was originally published July 6, 2018 at 3:00 PM.