Life may not be picture perfect, but you can write your own script

Life in the movies can seem so easy. Characters always find a group of friends to fit in with. Parents are never around to interrupt parties or plans. And the lesson learned always seems to be this: If you’re determined and spunky enough, you can get any job you want.

But in real life, the truth is much harsher. High school friends drift apart, plans get interrupted by parents and job hunting is fiercely competitive, filled with plenty of other applicants with the same or better credentials.

When I started high school, I found a group of people I resonated with, and I had the same thought that many others do: I was going to be friends with these people forever and we were going to all experience life together. It was like my own version of “The Breakfast Club.” Since graduation day, I have only kept in contact with one person from that group. The rest drifted apart.

It is constantly full of resets and detours. It’s even built in stages with defined beginnings and ends. Relationships work the same way. Friendships are constantly broken and destroyed, then rebuilt and forged with new individuals nearly as quickly.

Friendships can become more, transitioning to romantic relationships which brings in a whole new set of dynamics.

I’ve often heard that life is a roller coaster with plenty of ups and downs. To me, it feels more like an ocean. At times, it is calm, peaceful with a clear surface that shows no immediate danger or surprises. On other days, it can be stormy, with waves throwing us this way and that.

It may seem like there’s no reprieve in sight and the surface is murkier than oil. Underneath, traumas swim like sharks and bite when we least expect. It can be easy to lose our focus and get swept into the wake.

A clear goal or objective, no matter how small, can serve as the lighthouse that guides us back to shore. Even if it’s something like cleaning a room, or spending time with a pet instead of jumping onto the computer. Purposeful action can give direction when it feels like life is trying to wrench the decisions away from us.

It was a lesson I learned the hard way after graduation. Years of schooling can never prepare a person for the massive void that having no school leaves in someone’s life.

Suddenly that time commitment was gone, and at first, I didn’t find a productive way to fill it. I chose to watch YouTube videos, sleep in and play games. I couldn’t think of anything better to do with the eight hours I’d gained in each day.

But there were faint trails of what I felt I should be doing. I should have been looking for a job. I should have looked at more schooling, but giving up the freedom to do nothing was hard. But it also came at a cost.

I guess you could say I was drowning in free time. I had to give myself small goals to strive for. It was what I needed to keep my head above water.

My life may not look like anything like you’d see in the movies, but the lesson is the same. If you’re determined and spunky enough, good things can happen.

This story was originally published August 17, 2018 at 12:50 PM.