My 20-year-old son died from a gunshot in Tacoma. Every day I honor his legacy
It’s the late-night call no parent ever wants to receive. For my husband and me, it came at 4 a.m. on September 3, 2008. My son Joshua had been shot in the head, and we needed to make our way to the hospital to identify him.
In 2008, Joshua was spending the night at his friend’s apartment in Tacoma. A group of gunmen hatched a plan to rob that same apartment. Joshua was the one to answer the knock at the door.
Just 20 years old, Joshua — a loving son, brother, friend, exemplary student and model athlete at St. Martin’s University — was dead. That morning had an impact that changed my family’s lives forever. Our tall ray of sunshine, whose smile could brighten the darkest of days, had been taken from us.
The incomprehensible pain of seeing my son lying on a cold metal hospital slab, blackened eye and lifeless from a gunshot, is something no parent can put into words. I’ve stayed awake more nights than I’ve cared to count, praying for sleep, but inevitably welling up with tears as I think about Joshua. I know I’m not alone.
The trauma and devastation that our students, teachers, neighbors and communities are dealing with are real. It’s an epidemic that continues to devastate our nation, rip through families, impact schools and leave communities heartbroken.
Tragically, America’s gun death rate is 11 times that of peer countries. Every day, 100 Americans are shot and killed and hundreds more are wounded. In Washington alone, more than 700 people die by guns every year, and in the last decade, the rate of gun deaths in our state increased by 27 percent, compared to a 17-percent increase nationwide.
By early February of each year, more Americans are killed with guns than are killed in other high-income nations in an entire year. This is unacceptable.
On Feb. 1-8, for Joshua and for all victims and survivors of gun violence, I’ll recognize the second annual National Gun Violence Survivors Week, focused on sharing and amplifying stories of those who live with the impact of gun violence every day.
In honor of Joshua, I will join survivors who will be sharing their story on the Moments That Survive Memory Wall. I hope my story helps others see the very real life changes as a result of gun violence.
Sharing my story isn’t easy. But I feel a sense of urgency to do so because I know this pain is shared by my neighbors and far too many others around the country.
Before Joshua died, he wrote a note in a time capsule as part of a family New Year’s event to welcome the year 2000. In his note, he wrote what he wanted to do, who he wanted to be and how he wanted to make an impact. Not long ago, our family dug up the time capsule and found Joshua’s note.
He wanted to live by the sea. To be an athlete. To make a difference by helping people.
Though he’s not here to see it, our Joshua has accomplished every one of those goals. Knowing his love for the ocean, our family laid his ashes to rest at sea. He is recognized as a star athlete by breaking many records throughout his track career, including one at St Martin’s.
And at his funeral, more than 600 people paid their respects for my son, proving the impact he made during his time with us.
I have chosen to continue Joshua’s legacy to make an impact. I do this by honoring my son and advocating for common-sense gun safety legislation. By speaking out, I am proving that his life can be an agent for change. I refuse to let a day go by without honoring Joshua, and I refuse to stop using my voice to put an end to senseless gun violence.
Kimberley Gatbunton of Lakewood is an Everytown Survivor Network fellow and a volunteer with the Washington chapter of Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America. She has worked to pass several gun safety ballot initiatives in Washington.