French fried gluttony: In search of the best fair fries
Biggest fries. Most loaded fries. Fries with cheese. Fries with lobster. Fries with feta.
A memorable order of fries was what I was after for this year’s food-tainment journey on opening weekend of the Washington State Fair. My annual sojourn is simple in concept: Find the best representation of a single food item. I’ve piled through onion burgers, desserts, fried fare and pulled pork sandwiches. And I did it all for Team Reader.
This year’s opening weekend food fest found all kinds of fries that were drenched, loaded, piled high, a little sweet, a lot salty and more than a few terribly greasy.
I treated this as a fry smackdown with a favorite winner in five categories. Whose fries reigned supreme? Read on.
A TALE OF TWO POTATO CUBES
Earthquake Burgers
Where: Near Blue Gate.
The fry: Classic curly fries, $7.45.
Payment: Cash only.
Tasting notes: My chin was greasy, so was my mouth, my hands, my shirt. Too. Much. Grease. Earthquake’s version was thinner-cut, the short slices proved easier to pluck out of the block of curly fries. Seasoning tasted consistent to the bottom layer. Fries were golden brown, although not crisp. Flavor was pure potato.
Grade: B-plus.
Zieglers Bratwurst Haus
Where: Near Blue Gate.
The fry: Classic curly fries, $8.50 small ($12 large).
Payment: Card or cash, $1 surcharge for plastic.
Tasting notes: Impressively large size, but uneven cooking meant underdone potatoes on one side. Shaking salt onto the unseasoned fries proved tricky. Top layer salty, bottom layer not. Long, swirly pieces felt like unwieldy potato tentacles. Why the flimsy plate for something so big and hot?
Grade: D, if I’m generous.
SMACKDOWN WINNER: Earthquake Burger
CHILI CHEESE FRY SMACKDOWN
Bernie’s Burgers
Where: Near Extreme Scream.
The fry: Chili cheese curly fries with onion, $5.75.
Payment: Credit or cash, but minimum plastic purchase of $8.
Tasting notes: Curly fries were plentiful, but lacked crunch. The star of this show was good-and-plenty layering. A generous ladle of beef-and-bean chili carried a mild spicy kick. Shredded cheddar blanketed the dish. If asked grilled or fresh onions, pick both. Both came broadly sliced. Terrific value compared to the competition.
Grade: B plus.
Juicy’s Outlaw Grill
Where: Near Blue Gate.
The fry: Chili cheese curly fries, 11.75.
Payment: Credit or cash.
Tasting notes: Sometimes bigger isn’t better. Neither is soupy cheese topping. Curly fries were piled high, but they had an off texture (frozen?). The chili was more of a sauce than anything resembling the beefy stew, and the cheese topping was of the 7-Eleven nacho variety. They were hot, but not a good value.
Grade: D plus.
SMACKDOWN WINNER: Bernie’s Burgers
ON THE SWEETER SIDE
Lady Luck’s Cowgrill Up
Where: Adjacent to the Sky Ride near the 4-H buildings.
The fry: Candy Cone, $5.
Payment: Card or cash.
Tasting notes: It’s Thanksgiving jammed into a waffle cone. Sweet potato fries tucked into a warm waffle cone, then finished with drizzles of caramel and marshmallow sauces. Hot, filling, delicious, and a decent value for a novelty item. These were good, so long as you’re a fan of candied yams.
Grade: A.
Caramel Apples and Apple Fries Booth
Where: Adjacent to International Village.
The fry: Apple fries with caramel sauce, $7.49.
Payment: Cash only.
Tasting notes: Tart apples sliced into wedges, battered, fried, covered in caramel sauce. It was the flavor of a perfect fall apple pie piled onto a paper tray. My only complaint was the fry cook needed patience. A few more seconds would’ve softened up too-snappy apples.
Grade: B-plus.
SMACKDOWN WINNER: Lady Luck’s
ON THE DECADENT SIDE
Sharky’s Fish Fry
Where: Near BBQ Pete’s.
The fry: Lobster fries, $10.95 (bucket is $15.95).
Payment: Card or cash.
Tasting notes: The fries were better-than-average, but could have been improved for the price paid. What made this dish worth the price was the copious amount of fried sweet lobster meat. A spicy aioli also dressed up those dullsville fries. I’d come back for these because of those toppers.
Grade: B-plus.
The Snack Shack
Where: Across walkway from International Village.
The fry: Big baked potato fries, $8.50.
Payment: Card or cash.
Tasting notes: These tasted like freezer fries and once cooled, disintegrated into a mealy mess. Sour cream and green onion toppers looked paltry for the price paid. A few shreds of cheddar cheese? How generous! I asked for more, but counter workers didn’t budge. Poorly layered, plus not enough toppings to mask the crummy fries. Bacon bits were not fake-on bits, at least.
Grade: D-plus.
SMACKDOWN WINNER: Sharky’s Fish Fry
ON THE SIMPLER SIDE
Sausage Shack
Where: Near the Blue Gate.
The fry: Fresh cut pommes frites, $3.25, small ($4.49 medium, $5.99 large).
Payment: Cash only (cashier thought they might take cards eventually).
Tasting notes: Fresh-cut fries at the fair? That are a decent deal? Sign me up for these again — and again. Served in a waxy paper cone, these Belgian-themed fries were thick-cut, fresh and tasted of pure potato. Some of the pieces were skins-on. All of the fries carried a terrific creamy texture. Smaller pieces were crispier. Choice of sauces.
Grade: A plus.
Mad Greek
Where: Near Blue Gate.
The fry: Greek fries, $4.99.
Payment: Card or cash.
Tasting notes: These tasted like a low quality freezer fry. Somewhat crispy, but they had an unpleasant, mealy texture. What made them Greek was a light sprinkling of feta, but not even cheese could save these.
Grade: D.
SMACKDOWN WINNER: Sausage Shack
This story was originally published September 17, 2015 at 9:00 PM with the headline "French fried gluttony: In search of the best fair fries."