If state Sen. Ann Rivers had her way, Sasquatch, alias Bigfoot, would have been Washington’s official cryptid (an animal whose existence or survival is disputed or unsubstantiated). Alas, Senate Bill 5816 never made it out of committee this year.
Now the senator from La Center is concerned Oregon will seize the opportunity to take Sasquatch as its official cryptid — a ridiculous notion, since everyone knows Sasquatch is a traveling man and can’t be tied down.
Don’t expect Sasquatch to come out voluntarily. Look what happened to the daffodils when we made a fuss over them. They’re gone. Sasquatch may be elusive, but he’s not stupid.
Speaking of elusive, shouldn’t an official cryptid be an ambassador of sorts? Sasquatch is worse than you’re 30-something-year-old cousin still living in his parents’ basement — not exactly the model of hospitality.
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And no sense advertising that we might have a super-sized cryptid walking our woods with an appetite for a mild-mannered midwesterner. Tourism could take a hit. Out-of-staters might worry that our Forest Yeti is one of the few creatures left in Washington not yet a vegan.
Rivers says she will introduce a similar bill next year. We say Sasquatch is among the things of this earth better left alone.