Five pieces of advice for those who have filed to run for election this year:
1. To make sure voters remember you, record your robocall message with rap lyrics and a catchy Vanilla Ice beat.
2. Plant a rumor that your competitor for Pierce County executive is plotting to build a government headquarters with marijuana tax revenues.
3. An easy campaign pledge for state auditor candidates: "I intend to serve at least one year in office without falling under federal criminal investigation."
4. Enough with the "mom in tennis shoes" shtick. After 24 years in the U.S. Senate, Patty Murray should call herself the "grandma in orthopedic hose."
5. When Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton look for Washington state candidates to stump with them, pretend to be out of town.