Want to increase vaccination rates in Tacoma and Pierce County? Two words: free stuff
It’s time for bribery.
It’s time for free burgers and beer.
It’s time for Washington and Pierce County to finally get those COVID-19 vaccinations rates where they need to go, and if that takes gimmicks and stupid giveaways, so be it.
No one said surviving a global pandemic would be easy or make sense. The coronavirus saga has proved it 10 times over. But in this, the final stretch, whatever it takes us to get to the finish line is fair game.
Lotteries? Weed? A dozen Pao’s donuts?
Like I said, whatever it takes.
On Thursday, Gov. Jay Inslee made the announcement so many have been waiting for. By June 30, if not sooner, the state’s economy could fully reopen. The welcome news can largely be attributed to Washington’s slowly improving vaccination rate. Currently, 57 percent of residents 16 and older have received an initial dose of vaccine, while roughly 44 percent have been fully vaccinated, according to the Washington state Department of Health. By late June, health officials hope we’ll cross the 70 percent threshold, which is the magic number.
Getting there, however, won’t be a cake walk, which has also become abundantly clear. That’s one reason we’ve seen the roll-out of a whole host of ridiculous vaccine promotions across the country, including the now viral Bill de Blasio burger and fries offer in New York (Mmmm, vaccinations) and Ohio’s million dollar giveaways.
(Speaking of cake, who wants one? Just roll up your sleeve.)
Now for the dose of reality: Should it take free fast food to convince someone to protect themselves and the community from a deadly virus? Of course not. All of this is objectively absurd. But this is also the idiot society we’ve created, so we might as well embrace it.
That brings us to Washington, a state known for its disrupters and risk takers, not that it appears to be helping much in this case. For some reason, we’ve been slow to get in on the vaccine giveaway game — whether out of self respect or the naive notion that we’re somehow above nonsense like this — and now we’re playing catch-up. On Thursday, Inslee said the the state Department of Commerce and the Association of Washington Business will soon be doling out gift cards, and he didn’t rule out other ideas in the near future. But so far, no statewide drawing to win a decommissioned ferry or an old apple maggot quarantine sign has been announced, both of which feel like missed opportunities, if we’re being honest.
What can Tacoma and Pierce County do to lead the way locally? Opportunity abounds, if we get creative. Already the hometown Rainiers have successfully incentivized a vaccinated section of Cheney Stadium, and there’s no reason the city and county — or local businesses, with a little assistance — couldn’t do more.
Red Hot owner Chris Miller told The News Tribune that he doubts that any amount of free beer or hot dogs is going to convince an adamant anti-vaxxer to change their tune, but he does believe it might help those who are on the fence or simply procrastinating to finally take the Pfizer, Moderna or Johnson & Johnson plunge.
He’d be game to try, he said, with some help.
“While I’d love to be able to personally fund a freebie program, that’s just not in the cards. I don’t know any indie business that could shoulder that right now,” Miller said. “But if the county funded, or reimbursed an incentive program ... I think that possibly could help.”
“It’d be beneficial to increasing vax rates, it would help support local business, and it would definitely provide something kind of fun when fun is in such short supply,” he continued.
“People, myself included, just love themselves some free (expletive).”
He has a point. If it gets us back to living, any dumb idea is worth considering.
So want a free Mike’s Deluxe from MSM? Get the shot.
Want a free Chihuly, or at the very least a complimentary commemorative eye patch? Get a shot.
Want a box of Almond Rocca, or a case of Nalley chili, or a Live Like the Mountain is Out sticker or a free performance by Girl Trouble on your birthday? Get a shot.
It’s that simple, and maybe it has been all along.
