Opinion

Five things Melania might’ve been thinking during her Seattle area visit

Be Best. Because being good isn’t good enough, and being better is so yesterday? Melania Trump visits Microsoft headquarters in Redmond Monday, part of a three-state swing to promote her first lady initiative.
Be Best. Because being good isn’t good enough, and being better is so yesterday? Melania Trump visits Microsoft headquarters in Redmond Monday, part of a three-state swing to promote her first lady initiative. AP file photo

Five Melania Trump thought bubbles during the first lady’s short visit in the Seattle area this week.



1. “This state is within closer range of Little Rocket Man’s nukes than anywhere in the U.S. So I’m out of here in two hours, tops.”

2. “These Microsoft people are good at protecting kids from garbage they might find online. Like Stormy Daniels videos. Or Donald’s tweets.”

3. “Move over, Michelle Obama! Your “Becoming” tour is OK, but my “Be Best” tour is better. Who’d ever guess the name came from a monkey banging on a keyboard with only four working keys?”

4. “At least I showed up today. All it took was a little snow last month to make Michelle postpone her show in Tacoma – wherever that is.”

5. “Next stop, Vegas! Now there’s a city that knows how to appreciate a first lady spicing up an opioid town hall in a pair of $675 Christian Louboutin stiletto-heel pumps.”

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