Don’t try this at home! 5 ways to outsmart (or out-dumb) a Tacoma tsunami

Five do’s and don’ts during the estimated 3-hour warning we’ll have before a tsunami slams Tacoma, according to new state seismic simulations.

1. DO: Evacuate immediately. DON’T: Take advantage of premium parking places suddenly available as people flee downtown.

2. DO: Take your animals with you. DON’T: Stop by Point Defiance Zoo & Aquarium and try to take those animals with you.

3. DO: Get to high ground as far inland as possible. DON’T: Take your stand-up paddle board to Owen Beach for ultra-intense core workout.

4. DO: Bring emergency preparedness kit, including three-day supply of water. DON’T: Bring end-of-the-world survivalist kit, including three-year supply of liquor.

5. DO: Stay away until officials say it’s safe. DON’T: Hurry back to get “I survived Tacoma tsunami” body art at the Tsunami Tattoo shop on South 38th Street.

For more tips, go to redcross.org