Opinion

The Five Spot: 5 ideas for a less embarrassing Pierce County Council

Would a bigger gavel help Chairman Doug Richardson regain control of loose-cannon Pierce County Council members?
Would a bigger gavel help Chairman Doug Richardson regain control of loose-cannon Pierce County Council members?

Five ways to restore order to Pierce County Council meetings (i.e., settle disruptive blowups between Pam Roach and Rick Talbert).

1 A Hamilton-Burr-style duel at dawn outside county-city building, with middle fingers replacing pistols. Mark off ten paces, turn and draw!

2 A time-out room for politicians who won’t play nice. Solitary confinement cell next door at county jail could work.

3 A swear jar in council chambers. Escalating fines for each offense starting at $100.

4 Karaoke sing-off at Bob’s Java Jive. (He sings: “She drives me crazy.” She sings: “I make a fool of myself.” Then a closing duet: “Why can’t we be friends.”)

5 Make combatants stay after class, stand at chalkboard and write 100 times: “I will not flip the bird, curse or waste time on juvenile behavior.”

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