Five ways to restore order to Pierce County Council meetings (i.e., settle disruptive blowups between Pam Roach and Rick Talbert).
1 A Hamilton-Burr-style duel at dawn outside county-city building, with middle fingers replacing pistols. Mark off ten paces, turn and draw!
2 A time-out room for politicians who won’t play nice. Solitary confinement cell next door at county jail could work.
3 A swear jar in council chambers. Escalating fines for each offense starting at $100.
4 Karaoke sing-off at Bob’s Java Jive. (He sings: “She drives me crazy.” She sings: “I make a fool of myself.” Then a closing duet: “Why can’t we be friends.”)
5 Make combatants stay after class, stand at chalkboard and write 100 times: “I will not flip the bird, curse or waste time on juvenile behavior.”